Little Feet
by Fate Vione
Summary: Hisoka's been sick. Tsuzuki's worried and send Watari to check on him. the results are startling. Chapter 20 up! NOW COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

Hisoka sighed as he stared out the window. He didn't really know what the problem was but he wasn't feeling himself. The day seemed off, like something bad was going to happen and he was just very agitated. He hated these day worst of all, he hated everyone and had no reason or clue as to why. It made him guilty when he snapped. Just earlier he had snapped at Tsuzuki, and now he felt guilty, but he was still angry. Not that the baka had actually done anything to anger him.. it was just his very presence.

What really got Hisoka upset was that now he wondered what Tsuzuki was thinking. There relationship had just started to truly blossom. They'd just not to long ago become intimate. He still remembered Tsuzuki's emotions, so unsure, so frightened. he was so scared of Hurting Hisoka, it made him almost call the entire thing off, not for his sake but more for Tsuzuki's. But lately, he'd been feeling more and more separated from him due to his own flailing emotional roller coasters. He'd never lost control of his own emotions like this before. And he'd been sick.

"Bon...?" Watari peeked his head in through the door as he knocked. He saw the young shinigami sitting at the window, staring out in a daze. He was not used to see to seeing Hisoka like this, perhaps his violet eyed partner but not the boy. "Tsuzuki sent me to check up on you. He said you haven't been yourself. He's worried about you. Are you well?"

"Fine." He answered without flinching, without diverting his eyes for a moment from whatever it was that drew it out the window..

Watari could not place a finger on it but the bon seemed different. He'd not been eating well lately, and though he wouldn't admit it, Tsuzuki knew and had told Watari bout his late nights up, emptying his stomach of what little contents he'd taken in. Yet, despite all this malnutrition he actually seemed to be gaining weight. His flat belly had been getting slightly pudgy, everyone passed it off, he wasn't getting too fat, just a little weight. However with recent events, the ministry had began to worry.

"If everything's fine you won't mind me running some test would you then. Come on, bon." Watari placed a hand on the young mans shoulder.

"I told everyone I'm fine."

"Please, bon. Just as a precaution to keep us all from worrying."

For just a moment, through his contact, Hisoka felt at ease. Watari's warm feeling his gentle concern and smoothness, swept away his toiling, warring emotions. When he looked up at the mad scientist of a doctor he could not say no.

"There we go everything's done..." Watari put away the last of his equipment. He'd drawn enough blood from the shinigami that he could have died even being immortal. Hisoka sighed knowing that finally Watari was finished. His stomach had been wanting so bad to convulse everything out of it, and as much as he remembered it was nothing that was in it.

"There should be some results from atlas a few of the tests in just a few minutes. Then we can at least limit the possibilities."

I told you I'm fine."

"Right." Watari mussed the young mans hair, earning him a glare from the wheat blonde. The papers were printing out from behind him and 003 kept them in check, reviewing them and placing them in a pile for Watari to read later. "You know you're getting kinda pudgy there bon, You should really get out more."

"Shut up."

003 was heard ruffling about behind the two urgently. He flipped out, flapping his wings and kick about to draw Watari's attention. Watari was attracted but he was wondering if 003 had finally lost his little mind. 003 Was frantically pointing to a paper that had printed out the results to one of the test, Watari had done all tests known to man, and this one was one he had not expected to get results for this one.

"Apparently Hisoka we've found the problem..." 003 fluffed, sitting on the table. Watari was nervously fidgeting, reading the paper again and again before looking to Hisoka again. "Hisoka... you're pregnant..."


	2. Chapter 2

"What..?"

"Yes.. the hormone levels, the blood work.. it's all very clear. With your mood swings and morning sickness it's no wonder I hadn't seen it before... This one has turned out weird, very weird indeed."

"What the hell are you talking about! I'm a guy!" Watari seemed to snap from his momentary medical and scientific interests. Though rather than be puzzled he was nervous, scared even. He knew something that he didn't want to tell Hisoka and Hisoka hated secrets. "You didn't..."

"Remember that tea you drank a while back... well perhaps, just maybe some chemicals spilled into it and mixed... I might have just accidentally had it in my lab and all and.."

"You tried your stupid gender changing potion on me!" Hisoka roared. He stood quickly but he nearly toppled back on his rear, dizzy and feeling quite week. Watari reached out quickly and caught him and lowered him back down to have a seat. "Don't touch me!" He snapped

"Take it easy now bon. you're not in much of a condition. You're body is still physically too young.. It's weak already and with the new circumstances there's more nutrition and energy being drawn from you that you don't have."

"Circumstances! This wouldn't be happening if you weren't a quack of a scientist! Check again! You're lying, I never changed to a girl. I'd have... features.."

"True.. I never saw breasts.. as for other areas.. I wouldn't know, never really got that close to see.. Something in my notes on the after effects must have been wrong..." Watari reached for an old notepad, scribbled and crossed out symbols clearly visible.  
"You were keeping tabs on me!"

Hisoka's outburst went unnoticed to Watari as he read his notes, mumbling to himself. "Perhaps the effects were internal.. that must be it. The effects took hold on only internal organs making it possible for bon to bear children.."

"Are you listening to me?"

"That only leaves one question... Who's the father...?" Watari turned to Hisoka at that, raising his voice form it's mumble so Hisoka could hear. Hisoka went deathly pale, the color drained from his face and his eyes were wide, unnaturally wide..

Tsuzuki.. How would Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki would push him away. Hisoka would push himself away. He was a freak now. A boy having a baby, not only a boy.. a guardian of death.. a dead being giving life.. Tears leaked from his eyes unattended to and unnoticed as he started to shake, weak and unaware. His emotions were too strong for him, his worry, his fear and anger, both at Watari and himself, the feeling of rejection already sinking in. Watari's fear did nothing to sooth him now and only tore away at him life rough waves bringing the sand out with it after pulling from the shore. All he heard was 003 and Watari's frantic call as he felt himself falling through air and disappearing into darkness before he could even connect with anything solid.. just the feeling of falling.. forever in an endless black void.

Reviews, more reviews.. please. nice reviews, love the reviews.  
pet the key love the key be one with the key...


	3. Chapter 3

He was groggy, so groggy. His body ached and his head pounded. When he finally did manage to open his brick heavy eyes it was all so blurry, just a blur of blonde.  
"Easy, bon. I don't want you to move. You're weak from the tests..."  
Tests? In moments Hisoka's heart dropped into his stomach and he suddenly felt the urge to vomit. He had forgotten all about it and when he had remembered he though it was all a sick nightmare that would leave as sleep did. He started to shake, his eyes wrenched closed.  
"Bon?"  
"I hate you! Tsuzuki.. Tsuzuki will..." His shaking worsened as he pulled away from Watari, hugging himself tightly. 'I'm a freak...'  
"Tsuzuki..." Watari took into consideration for a moment the other shinigami. With all hopes well, the father of the child would be Tsuzuki, Hisoka would never willing give himself to anyone that he could think of. And the only other to have ever been with him clearly in his mind and with possibility was Muraki. However, bon's fears were perhaps somewhat in good reason. Becoming a father was the farthest thing from Tsuzuki's mind when he was with Hisoka he was sure. "Well yes.. he should be informed I suppose. So do you or should I..."  
"No!" Watari's cheerful face, clueless to Hisoka's turmoil was quickly replaced at Hisoka's cry. "He can't find out, he can't ever find out!"  
"But bon, it's his.. isn't it?" Hisoka never answered. He curled tighter in on himself. "Bon, you can't hide it much longer, and you can't deny it.." Watari stayed a bit longer, Hisoka never spoke to him, never once even looked at the man. He knew now, especially since Hisoka entered denial, many cautions would need to be taken. Hisoka would need the right foods, vitamins. And work... How would he explain to the boss why Hisoka would be out for at east 9 months? "Bon?" he tried once more. When he received no answer he picked himself up from his seat. "Do as you wish bon, I won't tell him. However, he really deserves to know..." With that Watari left the room leaving little 003 behind to keep Hisoka comfort. The little bird flitted to his side.  
'Poppet...' a voice, eerie and familiar in his mind echoed in his head. His skin burned as red falres came to life about him. 'My poppet.. my perfect little doll...'  
"Go away!" Hisoka shouted, frightening the small bird at his side, who had yet to notice any presence to which the shinigami could be talking to or of...  
'What troubles you... you can not hide from me... I am in your flesh, you body, your mind.."  
"GO AWAY!"  
AN: oh lookey lookey... Muraki... insert evil laugh here


	4. Chapter 4

Watari sighed over his tea cup. He didn't approve at all Hisoka's actions to his condition. He rejected any and all help from Watari. Nutrition, physical or even an ear to talk to about it all. The way he glared so coldly at him, even in the open in front of the other. It made the rest of the department suspicious. Watari covered their tracks best as he could but he could feel Tsuzuki's growing distrust of everything that had be going on and his lovers reactions.

"That bon.. so stubborn.." 003 twisted his head, squeaking at Watari and looking to him questionably. Watari ruffled the little birds feathers and sighed again. "What will I do with him... poor Tsuzuki.."

Hisoka tossed in bed, the blankets wrapped around him and twisted in his grasp. His hair splayed over the pillow and his body was covered in a cold sweat through his dream.

Kicking, he felt a slight kick in his stomach, which he could notice had grown to quite look like he had tried to smuggle a watermelon out under his shirt. It was a startled feeling, not unpleasant, but yet unexpected, a sensation you never knew existed before, one you never thought to feel but pleased when you get the opportunity. Then there was the gentlest of caresses, a soft, gentle hand lay flat on his overgrown belly. The fingers were long, graceful and skilled with great precision, meant for a purpose and meaning to fulfill it.

There was a reaction on the inside of him. His guts knotted and there was a disturbance in the movement in his belly. It was like a restless soul inside him, the child within struggling and fighting and hating everything that was around it. For some reason, the rest was a blur, he could see and know nothing of what was happening, he could only feel. He felt nothing ut a pain in his heart, not so much physical as it was emotional. Felt as though he's lost something, like a piece of his heart had just been ripped from his chest. Yet, there was something familiar around him...

Muraki...

The next image he could actually make out, the first in what seemed an eternity since he lost his ability to see but heightened his ability to feel was a bundled newborn wrapped in a blanket. The child was still slightly bloody, dirty from only what Hisoka could determine as the amniotic fluids and such. But Tsuzuki wasn't there, he was nowhere to be seen but Muraki leaned over him, his forehead slick with sweat and white trench coat was red with blood and soaked with fluids, the baby in his arms.

Hisoka's breathing picked up as Muraki leaned in, almost lovingly to brush his hand over Hisoka's cheek. He folded back the excess of blankets to reveal a small little face, distorted in it's fit of crying. Small strands of white, silver blonde hair made a small mop on the tip top of his little head, his small fists balled and shook with the effort to cry so loud. His eyes blinked every once in a while to reveal brilliant green orbs. Muraki only smiled lovingly at the bundle and so at his poppet, if not a little amused at the tears flowing down his bloodied and dirty face leaving trails in their wake and his quick paced breathing...

Short I know I know. But.. work... boyfriend... tired... next chapter will be longer.. promise... (consider yourself lucky fastest and longest lasting fic I have)


	5. Chapter 5

Hisoka shot up in his bed. The sweat dripped from his body, trailing down the side of his face from his forehead and damping the sheets from his body. His harsh breathing calmed as he realized where he was and that all of it was just a nightmare. Still.. the bright green eyes and silver hair of the child.. it haunted him. The child couldn't possibly be Muraki's. Why was this tormenting him...  
'Bouya, what's wrong? Can't you sleep...?'  
A shiver ran up his spine making him snap, back arching and head thrown back as if some one or something had hit him in the back. A loud gasp escaped his mouth and his breathing once again quickened at the icy feeling the room suddenly gave to his previously flushed and burning skin. "Muraki...!"  
'Let me in bouya, let me see your mind.'  
"No!" Slim fingers tangled in their owners hair, twisting and tearing at the roots in the scalp. He shook his head from one side to the other. "no no no no nonononono..." he began to whisper and mumble under his breath as he ducked his head, shaking and clutching his head for something to keep him anchored. His shields and defenses were raised quickly both physically and mentally. He locked himself from the world around him solidly. "NO!"

Tsuzuki knocked at Hisoka's door. The boy had not shown at an investigation meeting or shown himself all day. Tsuzuki was really beginning to worry. Hisoka had grown cold lately, distant from him. He didn't know what he had done to make his young lover so angry with him. He feared, maybe Hisoka didn't love him or maybe he had pushed to far that night. Hisoka said it would be alright and he had gone slow and gentle... He was just scared of Hisoka becoming a hermit again, they'd worked so hard to bring him to where he was, and now.. it seemed he had done something to mess it up. Above all, Hisoka's physical well being seemed to have been effected by it all.  
"Hisoka? Open the door 'soka, it's me.. Tsuzuki.." Tsuzuki knocked again on the door, a little harder this time. There still came no answer but when he listened and pressed his ear tot he door he hear a muffled scream come from within. "Hisoka!" He said with a gasp before kicking down the door.  
Once inside Tsuzuki called his partners name loud, echoing off the walls. "Hisoka! Hisoka!" No sound was made, not even a cry of pain or such that he could go on so Tsuzuki began to search the house. Heading to the bedroom he found Hisoka collapsed on the floor, topless wearing only pajama bottoms. His young form was twisted and wrapped in the blankets and soaked with a cold sweat. "Hisoka!" Tsuzuki reached out to his partner but once he got close enough his hand was shocked and burned away by a still present force shield. Hisoka seemed to have fainted and in doing so raised his shields in protection to Tsuzuki. Something was wrong, Hisoka had to be really sick and he didn't know what to do.

Hisoka opened his eyes groggily again. His head was pounding and his body stiff. His throat was dry cracked and burning. His skin felt hot, like he'd come from hell's flames themselves. He moaned hoarsely, his throat constricting and screaming pain into his head for him not to do it again. a cool cloth was placed on his head and a few annoying stray strands brushed from his face.  
"Don't move bon. You're body's too overstressed in your condition. You should take better care of yourself, there's another depending on your health now..."  
"Where am I?"  
"Tsuzuki found you on your bedroom floor. You're in your own bed. From what I hear he heard you scream when he came to check up on why you hadn't been out all day and kicked in the door."  
Hisoka opened his eyes and opened them wide to this. He struggled to lift himself up off the bed. "Tsuzuki... you...!"  
Watari gently pushed the boy back down by his shoulder. "I didn't tell him anything. I told him you must have passed out from stress. It's been more than stress though, hasn't it bon?" Hisoka looked to Watari with a bit of fear but with venom. It was non of Watari's business as to what was making him stressed, after all, everything was his fault in the first place!  
Watari blinked at Hisoka's reaction. He was not so used to having anger so directly well.. directed towards him. He was not one to be so serious but Hisoka's case had made him so lately. He didn't think there was anything he could do to avoid what had already happened, even if he was able to reverse the effects of the potion, he wouldn't be able to do it till after Hisoka had already... "You should tell him, bon. I'm sure your fears are all for nothing..."  
"Watari...?" Tsuzuki poked his head in through the cracked door. "I heard voices, is Hisoka up?" One looked to the bed and the emerald eyes that could now shine from beyond the pale eyelids and Tsuzuki ran straight through Watari, knocking him over and flying with 003 to the floor in a quite comedic style. "Hisoka! Are you all right!" His fluffy inu ears and tail had sprouted and his body, his eyes large and shimmering. "I was so worried!"  
"The door is coming from your salary..." Hisoka turned away from Tsuzuki, suppressing the feeling that lay deep in his lower stomach.  
"Hidoi Hisoka..." The inu ears and tail dropped and waterfall tears fell from his eyes. He whimpered.  
Watari took in the scene. Perhaps, it was a mistake... Maybe... they both were too young..

AN: Longer chapter as promised. good reviews means faster chapters! thanks to all people who review! next chapter soon...


	6. Chapter 6

Watari found himself once again in Hisoka's room. He'd been checking in on the boy a lot, and it'd put everyone on edge and made everyone suspicious. It'd been about a month, perhaps longer. The boy was growing pudgy but certainly not noticeable as a baby to those who weren't suspecting of such. Hisoka still hadn't breathed a word about it to anyone, save Watari, though he seemed to deny it even to Watari. though trying to support the boy in a decision to tell Tsuzuki was hardly his reason for being there this time.

Watari and bought time away from the job for Hisoka, giving a bogus medical report or something not even he really knew what the hell he'd scribbled down. However, regardless of his ability to skip out on work and still live a, somewhat comfortable life.. err.. afterlife, for some time, the boys condition and increasingly worsened. He was so pale now, and not nearly a healthy weight. His eyes were small with large bags under them. Watari had guessed, from the looks of his condition, Hisoka had not had a decent night sleep in quit some time. Only recently had the boy excepted any of the vitamins and such that Watari had been trying to give him. Now Watari only hoped now it wasn't to late.

"You haven't been sleeping well have you bon?" After watching Hisoka swallow some vitamins he continued. "I think I might give you something to help you sleep, a small pill. It shouldn't have any major complications to your condition or anything I think. Lets see, I think I brought something with me like that, it must be in here some where..." Watari began to rummage through his small bag he'd taken in with him filled with the vitamins and such.

Hisoka, groggy had taken a minute for Watari's words to sink in. Watari had already finished his sentence and possibly found the bottle before Hisoka reacted. "No!" Hisoka hit Watari's hand away from him, startling the blonde scientist and leaving a bloody welt on his hand. The honey brown eyes man looked up at Hisoka blinking. "No... I don't need any of those..."

Watari turned deathly serious. his eyes narrowed somewhat. Normally he'd take the mystery of Hisoka's behavior as a challenge, however, not when it involved someone that had become so close and was in such a fragile condition. "Bon! Something more has been going on then simple morning sickness that's been keeping you up. I want to know what it is."

Hisoka turned away. Without looking back to Watari he pulled his shirt back over his head, seen prior to this moment he'd had it off for an examination. It was a large fluffy shirt, one that could easily be said to make up for his "extra weight" He stood from where he'd been sitting and began to head out the door. He'd made it as far as the door, wrapping slim finger around the knob without ever looking back to Watari.

"Bon!"

"Don't call me that anymore. I'm not a kid, a boy or a child." Hisoka opened the door without further word and left the scientist alone in his room. He'd figured on a stroll to leave everything behind, leave Watari, the pills and the dreariness of his apartment behind. Perhaps Tsuzuki was right all those times about his apartment.

Out along the streets of the world of the living Hisoka's stomach growled. He lay a hand over his stomach where he could just now start to feel a life forming. His hand began to twitch with the thought of a child growing inside him. It was a though he had been over many a time and always one he could not bear to stand. It was unnatural, and he could not understand how any female could take in the complexity of it, the indescribable feeling of pressure and responsibility it put on you..

"In your condition you really ought not to be starving yourself."

Hisoka looked up. That voice was familiar, yet in his haze fuzzed mind it did not register until he could see the platinum hair, and gray-silver eyes. "Muraki..." was all he could gasp out when Muraki moved in closer.

"Ah.. you remember me. What has it been now bouya? Two, three months since that night? You were so beautiful, tied up in red silk like you were."

"Stop it..!" Hisoka quivered out his breaths, shaking, more in fear than any other emotion. "Leave me alone! Get out of my head!"

Muraki wrapped his arms about the boys back quickly. He pulled him into an embrace, twisting Hisoka around so back was against chest. He leaned in, whispering with hot breath that condensed against Hisoka's upper ear in dampness. "Even after being taken by another you were still tight, and oh so beautiful when you moaned and screamed beneath me."

"Sop it!" Hisoka felt a hand cover his own which he had not noticed till now had remained on his growing belly through the discovery of Muraki. He stiffened and electric shock ran through his body. This had to be another dream! The hand tightened, squeezed over his on, till Muraki shoved his hand away all together, squeezing his own hand, Hisoka's shirt being his only obstacle, on Hisoka's growing belly.

"Have you told Mr. Tsuzuki yet? I'm sure he's thrilled to be the father of a new baby." His hand kept squeezing, rougher and harder till it was pinching and hurt. Tears sprang to Hisoka's eyes and his hands pushed feebly at Muraki's trying to pry them off. The physical and mental pain on his empathy were taking their toll on him and he was already too weak from hunger, sleep deprivation and stress to fight. "Or are you afraid? Afraid he'll think you a freak. Or afraid that this life, this baby growing inside you belly," he emphasized this with a harsh squeeze pulling a mewl from Hisoka, "Is not Mr. Tsuzuki's at all but mine? That it is the product of the last person you had been with in the past few months, so pretty, begging and crying."

"Please! Stop!"

Muraki lessened his grip to simply laying his hand on Hisoka's stomach. he rubbed it, feeling the life force inside, feeding off it's existence and the anguish it cause it's creature, it's mother being. "I'll be back for you bouya. I will wish to see my son." Muraki released Hisoka entirely, walking down the street with as much style and flair as if the entire encounter had not happened. The wind blew the back of his trench coat at Hisoka. Hisoka however, fell to his knees, tears streaming down his face. Only his own arms where there to hold him as he cried and shook alone on the pavement.


	7. Chapter 7

A sweet smell filled Hisoka's nose. It was a confusing mix yet not so confusing as it was, odd or new. It smelt like a mix between vanilla, chocolate, and just all flavors of sweetness. a softness tickled his nose now, the slightest touch, the gentlest of sensations. he blinked open his eyes, blurry with sleep and yawned. fluffy brown was what greeted him, a mess on the pillow. The peaceful face buried somewhere under the unruly locks was so serene and held such a child like innocence to it tears began to prick at the corners of his eyes. His eyes were shut, his mouth fixed with a tiny little smile next to his curled hand laying next to his face. He could just count down the moment to when he knew Tsuzuki would start to suck his thumb.

Hisoka then felt a mix between a swoosh and a pinch in his belly. Reality came crashing down again with a vengeance. The tears began to fall down as he stared at his sleeping lover, though he barely had any right to even call Tsuzuki that. It'd been months now since Hisoka had pushed Tsuzuki away and denied him all the pleasures of what Tsuzuki had finally though to be their relationship. From that night.. he could not lie with Tsuzuki for fear, fear of seeing Muraki, fear of being hurt.. and fear of becoming Muraki. He had not slept in the same bed with Tsuzuki since, and had not a clue as to how they were in the same bed now other than Tsuzuki having snuck up on him.

Tsuzuki chose just this moment to wake. His eyes fluttered open, thick, dark lashes sticking as he separated them. A wet drop fell on his upper cheek just under his eye and he looked up. Hisoka stared back at him and at first Tsuzuki greeted him with a warm smile. Then he hear the slight hitch of breath, the sniffle. "Hisoka...?"

"Baka yaro! I hate you! Don't ever come near me!" Hisoka picked himself up from the bed fighting with a shirt tangled on the floor. For some reason or another he was still in his jean and only his shirt had been discarded and left on the floor to wrinkle. He ran from the bed to the door, wasting no time in opening it and ignoring Tsuzuki's cried as he ran out, tears flying back away from his emerald eye.

"Hisoka wait! What'd I do!"

Hisoka ran, ran from everything. He ran past anyone and everyone he passed. Mr. Tatsumi, Watari, the boss, Terazuma, Wakaba. He pushed them all from his path and leaving some, like poor Wakaba on the floor and other very suspicious, other yet, worried and still others screaming and cursing. He heard nothing of it, ignore it all. He ran, running was all he knew. Running was all he could do. Run from the pain, from his past, Tsuzuki. He just ran, ran so far and so much he hadn't notice he'd changed to the world of the living running down the crowded streets and pushing and shoving his ways through the crowds of people. All the while his brain was screaming, screaming for only one person.

'MURAKI!' He ran into a park, dense with tree and sakura. He ran along the dew slicked grass deeper and deeper into the grove of Sakura to where few were really picnicking or could see him from the street all the while calling him. 'Muraki!Muraki!' Then he slipped, tripped over his own wet feet in the slippery green grass. Falling to his knees in the soft green, he collapsed, shaking and crying. calling weakly to the man of his nightmares for mercy. 'Muraki...'

'My poppet. What is troubling you? why do you call out to me. Has Mr. Tsuzuki done something to you my dear doll?'

"Kill me Muraki... Kill me and end this! I don't want to live like this anymore, being immortal.. fighting.. killing people... I don't want this1" He looked up, Emerald eyes shaking, shining in their water, tearing state. The pale finger that wrapped so gently around his chin, tilting it up towards the sky and causing the tears to fall freely down his cheeks made him shiver.

"My dear, dear doll. What makes you think I would kill you, the bearer of my child..."

"Muraki...!" Two fingers were placed to his forehead and with an electric shock his eyes were dulled, unseeing and pupil-less. His arms fell to his side that had previously been gripping Muraki's extended arm in a sign of pleasing and he knelt so perfectly in the grass like a child play toy, placed into position by its owner for their own purpose and unmoving.

I know, short.. and confusing... yes... better next time, promise.. I'm so tired. and I just quit my job... stress.. but I love you all so much, I stayed up all night to write it, thanks for all your reviews!


	8. Chapter 8

Ok.. Hisoka was a little OOC in the last chapter.. o.o; sorry... didn't mean to do that... oh well. to continue with the story!

Muraki stoked the blonde hair gently, combing through it with his fingers. It was so soft and silky to the touch, never knotting no matter how much he played with it. The doll it belonged to sat kneeling obediently in front of him. For the dolls own safety it was chained at his wrist, but given quite enough room to move about. Heaven forbid if his doll were to come back and fight, he could not fight him this time and he had to be careful in restraining him. Though Muraki must admit, the boy had grown stronger against his powers. Keeping him under his hypnotized state was growing more difficult each time he came out.

"Doll..." Something stirred in the child at his words. There was a slight twitch, a stiffening of muscles. "You're so beautiful dressed in silk like this. The rich blue of this yukata suits you quite nicely. Your hair is so soft too..."

"Mur..ak..i.." The choppy name came out, almost force though no physical bound blocked the boys mouth. His eyes flashed a moment, reappearing a pupil and light in the dull green of his eyes. Muraki narrowed his eyes in frustrated anger. With the mere thought his power increased and trampled over the boy. The spark of life that had begun in his eyes was quickly snuffed out as Muraki moved in, kissing his neck gently.

It was nearly, almost certainly a sign of an apocalypse the gentle ness of Muraki's movements. His kisses, his strokes. He tried to be comforting. His hand now stroked the chubby belly that showed a bit more plainly through his outfit now. He could feel the tiniest spark of life inside, but it burned at him, it forced itself to be notice, using all it's reserves. "I'll take care of you. You carry something of great importance. A child born immortal to an immortal mother... if that's what you wish to call yourself..." Muraki leaned Hisoka's head back and tilted him, leaning him back against his arm. "Close to Perfect as one can get, without being Mr. Tsuzuki, even being born from a child-mother like you..." Muraki took his lips locked them to his own.

..."Tsuzuki, what in the hell happened! What did you do to Hisoka!" Watari pushed wide open the door to Tsuzuki's apartment. He caught a half dressed Tsuzuki off guard and both shinigami's eyes bulged. Watari and Tsuzuki both quickly turned about, both blushing a deep crimson.

..."So you're saying you didn't do anything to bon. Then why would he barge out like that..." Watari leaned back in his seat. Tsuzuki didn't seem to know anything about Hisoka's condition. Tsuzuki probably would have throttled him already if he had. His eyes grew wide and he gulped loudly at the mere thought of an angry Tsuzuki coming after him.

"Watari.. are you alright?"

Watari snapped from his daze, shaking his head and hands in front of him (trying to protect himself if Tsuzuki was to try to charge him? maybe...) "No no! I'm alright!" He took a deep breath of relief when Tsuzuki went back to staring at his hands clasped in his lap. "Hisoka hadn't said anything to you... about anything...?"

Tsuzuki fidgeted a little bit. "I think it was because he..." He blushed and fidgeted more. This was a very uneasy thing for him to speak of. "I think it was because he woke up to being in bed with me..."

"WHAT? YOU TRIED SLEEPING WITH HIM! HOW COULD YOU!" Watari stood, pointing an accusing finger at him His hair stood up and he twitch at the sight of poor Hisoka, trapped under a lustful Tsuzuki, crying and trying to push Tsuzuki's big, powerful. muscled body off of him during the night. 003 was seen flying about Tsuzuki's head, trying to peck his brains out.

"OW! stop that! ow!" Tsuzuki was batting at 003. "It wasn't like that Watari! Ow! He came in bed with me! He crawled in sometime during the night and curled up next to me! Ow, ow, ow!"

"Oh..." Watari called for 003 and the little owl backed off Tsuzuki's beaten and puffy face and head. "He crawled in with you...?"

"I swear it! I stopped going after him months ago! when he said he didn't want to anymore!"

"Sounds to me then Tsuzuki, that bon has something... on his mind..." It was so hard not to tell Tsuzuki what hit was, he had every right to know he was having a baby girl or boy, I mean, it had to be his right. "Perhaps he needs some time and some space.. he'll come back, Tsuzuki..."

"yeah... you're right..." Tsuzuki might have believed in these words.. but for some reason, they offered him no comfort.

Short again but hey.. I did it in less than a day... and it's still somewhat good! (proud of herself!)


	9. Chapter 9

Tsuzuki sat on the couch staring at his cup of hot chocolate. Every once in a while he would change his line of view to the door, half heartedly expecting Hisoka to walk through and yell at him to get to bed, that they had work in the morning... or rather that _HE_ did. Hisoka had been out of work for at least a month or so, more perhaps. He didn't really want to over exaggerate, but everyday his little Hisoka was out seemed like an eternity. And lately, he'd been even colder then he pretended to be at the office.

Tsuzuki had accepted how Hisoka had denied him his body. Actually Tsuzuki blamed himself. He must have done something to Hisoka to make him that way, scared him, hurt him. He tried to inquire as to what he had done, begged Hisoka to tell him but Hisoka wouldn't say a word about it, brushed him off so many times and just called him "baka". But even so, after that, he had still been somewhat.. affectionate. He would sometimes curl into Tsuzuki when he thought Tsuzuki was asleep, clinging to him like a child to a parent after having a bad dream. With practice he'd learned how to send calming and soothing emotions to his empathic partner, calming him and usually sending him into a deep sleep quickly. Each time Tsuzuki would wake up after the boy had fallen asleep on him and spend nearly the entire night staring in wonder at him. Tsuzuki knew he had become Hisoka's first and only everything then. He'd never known a friend who liked him for who he was, or even a family that hadn't beaten and abused him. He was the first comforting emotion Hisoka had encounter, even if it was in his after life.

A heavy sigh escaped him. Hisoka still hadn't come home yet. It was getting late and Hisoka was always very punctual with his self-appointed curfew. He pushed his head further into the cushion of the couch. He'd made them both dinner and now it was getting cold, and he couldn't dare take a bite out of his with the way his stomach was in knots of worry. For the first time in hi life Tsuzuki could truthfully be said to have lost his appetite, even for the sweetest sweets.

The brown haired shinigami tilted his head back, looking towards the ceiling though he closed his eyes. The image of the wheat haired teen crossed his mind, images from the first time they met till now. Looking back, he looked so cute with that little gun, it was funny to think that he wasn't just some thug trying to rob him or something. Then when he'd taken his drink by mistake and ended up passed out. He couldn't help the giggle that escaped him when he remember the boys distressed moan as his stomach began to act up and he looked so pale and sick, and oh so young... It really was a shame for him to be a shinigami at the age of 16. So young, he shouldn't even have the ideas of revenge or hatred in his mind or heart...

"Hisoka... where are you...?"

"Muraki!" Hisoka screamed as he pulled at the bonds that tethered him to the large, silk covered bed. He'd been struggling for only a few minutes now, since he'd once again gained control of his conscious mind and body. Prior to this he'd been floating in a void of black, aware of all that had been going on but unable to control it, unable to move an inch, even to talk without the permission of his tormentor, his murderer. He'd lost all abilities as a shinigami, Muraki had cast spell upon spell on the room, bonds, bed, and even put up wards to block all his supernatural abilities, all save one, his empathy. That was still intact, and functioning perfectly. He could feel every last emotion, the dark void of Muraki's mind and his unquenchable lusts.

"Yes poppet, I'm here." Muraki entered through the door, his coat and suit vest thrown over his bent right arm, his left was loosening his tie. He seemed rather tired and worn. He even let out a sigh as he tossed the weight of his discarded uniform to a chair in the corner of the room. "Is something wrong bouya?" Muraki sat on the bed, catching easily both the boys wrists as he swung them at the doctor, being careful not to hurt him, however giving just enough pressure in just the right point to make it very uncomfortable and slightly painful, enough to make the boy frit his teeth as he struggled to free himself.

"Let me go..!" Hisoka tugged at his arm, unheeding of the pain and discomfort it caused. He wanted free of the man, free of his bonds, free of this world. However, with all other senses deprived for so long and all shinigami abilities locked, his empathy had only grown in intensity. A sudden rush of tiredness and exhaustion washed over him, the type you get after a long day of work, frustration and exercise. That's why he wasn't under Muraki's spell anymore! Muraki was tired, he needed to rest his power and conserve it! "LET GO!"

Muraki chuckled at Hisoka's attempts. It really was cute to see the boy struggle, he looked even younger this way and it made Muraki's lusts soar and made him even aroused. He was so tempted to take the boy there, however he would not know the consequences of his action if he were to do that. He could not take the chance of harming the child that lay inside him, a woman would not have to worry, but this was a first in history, a man with child, if it would work the same way or not was a mystery even to Muraki. He moved behind Hisoka, spreading the boys arms to his side as he nuzzled the boys neck, kissing licking and blowing on the trails he'd left behind. He moved up to the boys ear, licking and sucking gently on the shell of cartilage. "I can't do that, poppet. I can't let you go until you've had that baby in your belly, my new son or daughter. And then Tsuzuki..."

"Tsuzuki...! You can't you.. no..." Hisoka found himself paralyzed. Tsuzuki couldn't find him like this! Muraki... Muraki's told him by now. That's why Tsuzuki hadn't come for him.. Hisoka didn't want him to come for him. How was he going to tell Tsuzuki that he was pregnant, that it was Muraki's.. Then another low chuckled hit his ear softly.

"Silly boy, why would I have told him? I do not need the ministry after me, not yet poppet. I need you to give me that baby first, then and only then, will I tell Mr. Tsuzuki about how disloyal you are and how freakish as you are, the baby isn't even his. Then I will take him as mine. You're a freak, spoiled and ruined. He doesn't want you anymore."

GOMEN! It took so long to get it out, but I'm doing school again.. gym... 2 hours... workout.. argh! I'm so sore! well, expect no more than one update a week unfortunately.. and don't expect it during the week, Friday afternoon or weekends... (only time I have off school and also.. hopefully my body won't be so totally ripped apart so that I have to lay in bed unable to move) Thanks for all the reviews I've received. sorry I'll try harder next time and try to make it longer...


	10. Chapter 10

Hisoka groggily opened his eyes. The light that greeted his night time eyes was blinding and he immediately closed again his tearing eyes. His body was stiff and achy, he found his position very uncomfortable though he recognized it as the position he'd always slept in. He moaned out as he tried to roll his body into a different position, his muscles and bones strongly disapproving of it as they pulled and rubbed sorely against one another. It was when he moved that he heard a low rumbled and a gurgle, a pain shut up from his stomach to his chest and he felt almost sick. He was hungry, starving really. He'd no idea when had fallen asleep or how long he'd been out and the aroma of eggs that wafted into his nose only taunted him more...

Wait. Eggs? Was that the smell of fresh, hot tea too?

He squinted through one eye, the light fussing and blurring his sight until it adjusted. First shadows, shapes then it began to become clearer and clearer into a plate and mug set on a tray, fixed with a descent breakfast. Eggs, a piece of toast, tea. His stomach growled urgently and demanded him to lunge at it while his body said to move slowly, still stiff from sleep, and yet again his mind told him not to have it at all. He was hungry, but trapped as he was, he had no desire to eat, no desire to live.

He felt every second the life growing inside him and it disgusted him. Muraki's child, inside him. It made him convulse and retch, so wanting to vomit, just the thought. He figured any possible solution leading to his death would be best. Deep in his hearth though, he knew he couldn't die, Muraki would never allow it. If Muraki had to force feed him himself he would never allow it, at least not until his child was born, then Hisoka was disposable. Then he could be beaten, raped, killed and none of it would matter. In a somewhat disturbing way Hisoka looked forward to that day, he could die then, and not have to live in a world with Muraki anymore, or his child. But just the knowledge that he would have given birth to that child.. and Tsuzuki.

Tsuzuki's fate rested on his own. Tsuzuki was strong, protected greatly by his shikigami and the employees of the ministry of Hades, but he was weak on his own. Hisoka was the first partner that had really ever lasted this long with him, the only one he thought he could really last with. With Hisoka dead it would leave Tsuzuki vulnerable., It was then that Muraki would move in on Tsuzuki. He had to end this before he had this child! He knew Muraki, he knew what he was planning. Once the child was born, he would use Hisoka only moments longer, revealing to Tsuzuki that he was disloyal, all those months ago when Muraki had tied him down. Then he would kill him in front of his beloved partner. To further break Tsuzuki's spirit, he would then use the baby against him. He would win and he would make Tsuzuki his.

He hadn't noticed he's sat up, propped against the headboard. He hadn't notice gripping the sheet in his fist till his knuckles had turned white and his nails were digging, regardless of the comforter they gripped, painfully into his palms. It was then that he noticed a sparkled from the corner of his eye., A gleam of light off a silvered, metallic object lay across the plate of food. A knife.

With shaking hands Hisoka reached for the cool, handled blade. It scarped against the plate as he pulled it towards himself, causing his mind to cringe only slightly at the sound, wondering just where Muraki was, if he could here him, or stop him. Staring with wide, shaking eyes he watched the blade he held straight to the sky, then to the door and back to the knife. When no emotion, no sign from Muraki came threw he was free to decide. He shook, his trembling going all the way through to his hands and into the knife. His swallowed hard, trying to get air down past the ball caught in his throat. Then he lower his hands, both gripping the handle tot he knife tight in his hand to where it hurt and the shape of the handle was cut and impressed into his flesh. Opening his hands to flip the knife so the blade was now facing downwards he slowly moved his hands out and tilted them so the cold point of the blade was pressed to the bulge of his stomach. His eyes closed and he let out a little whimper as he tensed his shaking muscles for a plunge.

A shriek broke through the silence and it was a long moment before Hisoka was capable to realize it was one spilling forth from his own lips. The knife fell to the bed as blue electrical sparks flared threw his body and sparks danced around his body. His head turned back, his silken wheat colored locks falling back away from his face, giving a clear view into his shaking eyes, his trembling, screaming lips hung open in a drawn out scream.

' No, no bouya. We can not have that now can we. No harm is to befall either you or my child until you have given birth. Why, if you were to die now, what would I use to lore Mr. Tsuzuki to me?'

Hisoka fell to the bed on his side, curling into a tight fetal ball, or as much of one as he could make with. His body racked with tears and scream and cried of frustrated rage and pain. He had made sure Muraki wasn't around, made sure he was gone and that he was so far he would not even pick up a trace oh his emotional void! And still, still he was denied..

'Silly boy. I'm everywhere, and I know everything and I see everything. You can not hide from me poppet. Your thoughts, your body, they're mine. No matter where I am I can and will control you, so I suggest not trying that again poppet, I don not want to have to hurt you.'

"MURAKI!"

Tsuzuki stared in at the still made bed. The night clothes were still left at the foot of the bed, Hisoka had never come home. Tsuzuki may not have been an empath, he might not have been able to read peoples minds or see the future, but he knew something was wrong. His fists curled around the frame of the door. He'd run out so violently, to see him be so cruel to him was not much, he had always been put off by Tsuzuki's slacking and wasteful and unhealthy ways, but to see him so mean to the others, shoving all of them out of the way, even knocking Wakaba down on the ground. Something had really gotten into him, and Tsuzuki wanted to help. Something was definitely wrong. It was then he felt a shiver go down his spine and a pain shoot to his head.

"Muraki" slipped from his lips before he could stop to think to talk. hearing himself say it was proof enough for Tsuzuki and he had known, deep inside that it was Muraki that had Hisoka, him who had cause the young shinigami never to come home last night. He turned quickly, leaving with speed for the ministry.

..."Hisoka never came home?" Watari blinked at Tsuzuki with large, disbelieving eyes. In his hand was another one of his weird inventions, this on Tsuzuki had never seen before nor heard of but at the moment, nor did he care. 003 sat on his shoulder ruffling her feathers about, shaking her feathers and opening her beak silently as if in boredom. "Well that's not life bon."

"It's Muraki. I know Muraki's kidnapped Hisoka again in attempt to lore us out again, or more like me! I need your help to find him, so I can save Hisoka!"

"Muraki!" Watari squeaked. "That's impossible!"

"It is! I know it is!"

"Calm down, Tsuzuki. It'll do no one any good if you get too worked up over it." Tatsumi pushed his glasses up further on his nose. "What proof do you have that it was Muraki. I mean it does seem traditional however..."

"That's it Tatsumi! Every time something happens to Hisoka or me it's Muraki. And Hisoka.. he.. he wants to kill Hisoka! we're wasting time, help me find him!"

It was the tone in Tsuzuki's voice that struck Watari. Thinking now on the subject of Hisoka, thinking more closely on it. What was it that he was trying to remember that his mind just didn't want to bring up. He hated when he did that, knowing there was something he so wanted to, should have remembered but couldn't. then a flash back came back to him

"You haven't been sleeping well have you bon?" After watching Hisoka swallow some vitamins he continued. "I think I might give you something to help you sleep, a small pill. It shouldn't have any major complications to your condition or anything I think. Lets see, I think I brought something with me like that, it must be in here some where..." Watari began to rummage through his small bag he'd taken in with him filled with the vitamins and such.

Hisoka, groggy had taken a minute for Watari's words to sink in. Watari had already finished his sentence and possibly found the bottle before Hisoka reacted. "No!" Hisoka hit Watari's hand away from him, startling the blonde scientist and leaving a bloody welt on his hand. The honey brown eyes man looked up at Hisoka blinking. "No... I don't need any of those..."

Watari turned deathly serious. his eyes narrowed somewhat. Normally he'd take the mystery of Hisoka's behavior as a challenge, however, not when it involved someone that had become so close and was in such a fragile condition. "Bon! Something more has been going on then simple morning sickness that's been keeping you up. I want to know what it is."

That was it! Hisoka been sick lately. It took only a few more m minutes for the full effect to kick in. That's why Hisoka hadn't been sleeping well, that's why he'd been edgy, every since those few months ago when he'd last been missing and come back...

Watari dropped the invention he was carrying in his hands. His hands began to shake and his heart pounded in his chest and wrench at the sudden realization.

"That only leaves one question... Who's the father...?" Watari turned to Hisoka at that, raising his voice form it's mumble so Hisoka could hear. Hisoka went deathly pale, the color drained from his face and his eyes were wide, unnaturally wide..

That's why bon had acted so... It was.. Muraki had...

"Watari san..?" Watari snapped up to see Wakaba looking up to him with concerned eyes. "Watari san, are you ok?"

"It is Muraki. Tsuzuki's right. We've got to find Muraki!" Watari scared everybody with his unusual urgency in his voice. His voice was shaking. They'd never seen Watari like this before.

"Watari, how do you...?"

"He was out for medical reason because... because... I think Muraki was contacting him again, messing with bon and making him sick again... That's.. that's why he ran away. Muraki's gotta have him."

Looking at the desperate and somewhat guilty look on Watari's face that Tatsumi passed for quilt over not realizing the boys cause of illness earlier he decided to follow their hunch. "Gushoshin, check all our cases that we've yet to solve that have happened recently, all murders and missing souls. I want them all documented and that's where we'll start, Muraki's got to be somewhere near his victims if he's calling out Tsuzuki."

"Right!" The flying little chicken flew off to do his research.

Tatsumi turned back to Tsuzuki. "Don't worry Tsuzuki, we'll find him and get him back."

Watari shook, trembling from the tips of his toes to the tips of his fingers and up to his eyes, even his eyes shaking as they stared at his hands, hands responsible for causing all of Hisoka's recent pain. thinking to himself.. 'I don't think he wants to be found... ever...'

AHAHA! a really long one! I did for all those who review and leave such nice comments, for all of you who love my story or even like it in the slightest. I love you and it's longer than the last one by exactly 938 words! yay! love you leave nice reviews, if I get enough, I'll try to make it even longer than this next time!


	11. Chapter 11

Watari clicked away franticly at his computer. He'd joined the Gushoshins in their effort to track down either Hisoka or Muraki. This proved much more difficult than any previous time that they'd tried. There's been so few cases, and almost none of them were the type that could not easily be described as simply a wondering spirit that did not know or refused to except the fact that they were now dead. Muraki hadn't been even expected of anything for so long, there were no recent sightings of him or any murders that seemed to be connected to him or any of his previous cases filed against him. Watari really was at a lost, he could not even except it as a challenge as he tended to do with difficult cases, he usually did quite enjoy the hard ones. This one however, it was someone very personal that was in danger, someone he was rather responsible for in this state. If anything were to happen to Hisoka...

"Watari, you should take a break, you've been at it for days straight." The younger of the Gushoshins floated behind the blonde scientist. The floating chicken god was truly and sincerely concerned for the ministry's mad scientist. The usually lively and energetic, if not sugar rush liked man was slowly running out of fuel. He'd sat hunched in that chair for days, his hair had grown dirty and knotted from days of not washing or combing it. his eyes were drooping from days upon days of not sleeping. Regardless of him being a shinigami, they were not built for work like this, at least not without rest every now and then.

"Can't. Bon's still out there and we still don't know where he or Muraki is.

"Watari san." The two voices of the brothers became strong, demanding. One spun the chair away from the computer, another pushed it slightly away from the glowing of the screen in the dark room. Watari clearly protested, He twisted back to the computer but the two brothers glared angrily at him when he tried to move back to the computer. "Watari san, you're being relieved of duty for now. Take some rest."

"But..!" The evilest of glares from the Gushoshins stopped Watari dead. His eyes suddenly began to droop and he fell back against the back of the chair. His body suddenly felt so tired. His eyes closed and his mouth opened in a long, silent yawn. Satisfied that they would be obeyed the Gushoshins flew back over to the computer, clicking away and continuing Watari's research..

'How... how could I have not noticed. He was so pale.. so thin and sick. It wasn't normal for bon, even if he is naturally small. And Muraki.. that baby.' Tears came to Watari's eyes in just the sheer thought of what had happened to Hisoka, at the thought of the pain Hisoka was suffering, knowing all along that the bay wasn't Tsuzuki's. 'It's like Muraki knows, like he can tell everything that goes on here. But how.. he couldn't have known what happened to Hisoka, that I had given him that stupid potion or to know how it would effect him. Even so, had that all been only a coincidence, how would Muraki have known now that Hisoka was pregnant. Could he do that to Bon, read his mind?'

"What was that Watari san?"

"Huh?"

"You said 'read his mind'. What were you talking about. Do you have any leads?"

Watari paled. He'd not meant to mention any of his private thought s outside his own mind. He didn't realize he'd even done it till after it was done and the chickens mentioned it. Now what should he do? "Oh, no.. I was just wishing.. we could read his mind.. then we could get Hisoka back quickly." They bought it, turning back to their computer with no more response than a sad and sympathetic look on their faces. It was Muraki's. That's all that Watari could think, it was Muraki's and it was all his fault.

-0-There he was, his unsuspecting prey. In his mind James Bond music was playing and he was moving as stealthy as any of the most experienced of hunters, living or dead.

Hisoka sat comfortably in his chair, reading a rather large book. As usual Tsuzuki was complaining about him wanting only to read and immerse himself in his books calling him names like "nerd" and "bookworm". Then again, as usual, Hisoka hadn't let it bother him. He'd sat quietly through all of Tsuzuki's complaints, continuing with little efficiency to read his book, growing more and more aggravated as the idiot continued to ramble on. Finally the baka of a shinigami pouted in defeat and ran away to frown himself in sweets, leaving Hisoka, finally, in peace to finish his book. Perhaps he should have taken Tatsumi's advice and left the ministry and headed home. the day was slow, nothing was needed to be done, well, except maybe a bit of Tsuzuki's paperwork, but he wasn't going to do that for him. A random thought struck him then. 'If Tsuzuki had lived... would he have died of diabetes?'

Hisoka brushed the thought off with a slight shake of his head. They didn't have much to worry about now at any rate now did they. Even if the violet eyed man was to drown himself in chocolate, the only real thing that could come of it was obesity. Even if it were to make him sick, he could never really die again now could he? Hisoka frowned, glaring at his book. Why was he even worrying about the idiot! With a growl he turned back to his book at hand. It was then that he sensed it, when he'd calmed his nerves and quieted his mind. "What do you want Watari?" His voice was cold, accusing and venomous.

Watari jumped a bit, somewhat frightened by the way the boy was able to tell his presence without even looking up from hi book, especial since Watari had been trying to sneak up behind him. Then again, with a second thought, it would only make sense, he was an empath after all. "Nothing really." He replied after calming his nerves and fixing his heartbeat to a normal pace. "I was just wondering if you were hungry, or thirsty or anything. I just made some tea and I thought maybe you'd like a cup?" Watari suggested hopeful, he'd already planned on the boy saying yes, or rather, hoped on it and held the cup placed delicately on the saucer in front of him.

Hisoka glanced suspecting at the blonde man from over the top of his book. "What are you trying to pull on Watari?" He looked at the tea, or perhaps it was more of a glare. Sniffing it he looked back at Watari with searching, eyes.

"Really Bon, your accusations hurt me. Can't I just do something nice for a fellow coworker?" He offered the cup even more openly to Hisoka who slowly lowered h book, opened to his page down to his lap to hold his spot. He cautiously excepted the cup, holding it an unnecessary length away from him, expecting it to blow up in his face at any moment. Watari sat in a comfy, fluffy chair across from him. He needed to think of some small talk, Hisoka was too suspicious at the moment. "So. What's new between you two?"

"What are you talking about?" Hisoka watched the tea, it didn't explode.. something had to be waiting to pop out of it and try to drag him in, to another dimension or something knowing Watari.

"You and Tsuzuki. Have you two hooked up yet? How 'bout kissing? More maybe..."

"Watari!" Hisoka forgot the tea, not caring what came out of it or what would come of it. His shining emerald eyes turned wide as humanly possible, a bright red blush crossing his face. Watari chuckled inwardly at this. He really was cute when he blushed, now he saw just how Tsuzuki could be misled by his innocent looks and dragged into Hisoka's scorn and punches like a sailor to the depths of rocks by a siren, calling from a distance. If Tsuzuki hadn't already laid claim to him, and if Hisoka was ever capable of letting anyone besides Tsuzuki in, Watari might even have tried to move in on the boy.

"It's perfectly natural you know. Nothing to be ashamed of. You're a teen, still just a boy. It's good for you to feel desire like that, otherwise, I'd be a little concerned about you Hisoka. You know, sometimes not being able to show your affection openly just means you're confused in your sexuality or perhaps in your desires. that would explain why you're so crabby and hermit like at work wouldn't it. You know, it's not good to keep all that pent up inside you" Watari was definitely enjoying this plan, he got both his purpose and "the talk" with bon done at the same time.

"Watari!" Hisoka was red now, completely. His blush was most surely still there, however, his anger was making him even more red.

Watari knew then that his time for fun was done. It was time to be serious with the boy and tell him just the kind of words he needed to hear. So he put on his most serious face, one he usually only used when there was something of great importance at hand. "Hisoka."

The boy turned to him, his blush lightening and the red of his anger draining from his face. Watari never used that tone of voice, he wasn't being Watari, the mad genki scientist they all knew him to be.

"You know how much Tsuzuki cares for you and you know his intentions. He wouldn't ever do anything to harm you. No one here is telling you to get with Tsuzuki or not, all we want you to do Hisoka, is open your heart, listen to your own feeling and sort them from everyone else's. Don't deny yourself what you want when it's staring you right in the face." Watari and Hisoka sat in silence for a while longer. It was a somewhat uncomfortable silence that neither knew what to tell the other after the last statement. Watari was rather surprised at himself. He never thought that he would be able to say that to Hisoka.

The silence remained unbroken until there came a rustle that drew Hisoka's attention. Watari had lifted himself from the seat across from him and was now collecting a few things, supposedly his. He turned back to Hisoka silently, connecting eyes with him for only a few seconds until he turned and walked out the room. Hisoka sat in his chair, book lay out on his lap, staring at the steaming tea laying delicately in his palms, his finger numb. -0-

Watari jumped from his sleep deprived state of slumber at the slamming and, from the sounds of it, breaking of the door. The Gushoshins did just the same, turning from the glowing screen of the monitor towards the door, light flooding in from the hallway. The tall dark figure of Asato Tsuzuki glooming in the frame was discouraging. They could see through the look on his face, the anger in his stance and the poor broken door crashed on the floor that his searches had proved fruitless again. It'd been days now and no information of Hisoka or Muraki's whereabouts. Though, it wasn't completely without clues..

"Tsuzuki...?" Watari soothingly questioned. With each passing day Watari grew more and more concerned not only for Hisoka and the baby he was carrying but for Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki already took the weight of the world upon himself and now he took Hisoka's disappearance as well, as much as it was Watari's fault. "Tsuzuki, what happened?"

"He did it again. he did it AGAIN!" Tsuzuki punched a wall next to the broken doors frame, a large crack formed there that ran from his fist down to the floor and up to the ceiling as a result. This scared back Watari and the Gushoshins, all three moving back with a slight gasp of breath. "He did it again, he sent us on a wild goose chase..." Tsuzuki clutched in his other hand Hisoka's large, warm and fluffy sweater. It was just the type Hisoka liked, the ones he'd been wearing more often to hide his growing belly that only Watari knew to be a baby.

Tears pricked the violet eyes as he stared at the item in his hands. Muraki's been doing it for day, sending out false locations of Hisoka to the ministry when they tried to track Hisoka, all of them completely random and never close enough to each other to limit their location efficiently. Tsuzuki had been all over Japan in the last few days and each time all he was ever met with was an abandoned old building and not a trace of Hisoka other than an article of his clothing, It was like a false energy reading that he was using to manipulate them, sending out one that they would all think to be Hisoka's and it always disappeared after making itself known as one of Muraki's tricks.

Falling against the wall, braced only by his arm Tsuzuki cried, forehead to the cool wall. The tears racked his body, making his entire body tremble with each sob as he slowly fell to his knees. collapsed against the wall he looked so defenseless, so vulnerable, Watari forgot all about Tsuzuki's ability to kill any being imaginable, forgot about how he'd just raised the maintenance bill again and ran to his old friend. He wrapped his arms around the older shinigami.

"He's never going to let us find him.. not until it's too late."

"Pull yourself together man. Hisoka needs you to be strong for him now, he's counting on you, and he knows he can count on you. Let yourself fall apart in him now and you fail him. Do it for Hisoka..." Watari squeezed his friends shoulder trying to transfer whatever energy he had to his friend. Tsuzuki would need it.. He only wished he could have given more to Hisoka. he looked up to the ceiling, praying to the sky that Hisoka was alright wherever he was and that no harm had come to him, that he was holding up better than the crying man in his arms. He just had to be alright.

YAY! a longer chapter yet again! (longer by 346 words!) I love all of you! review review! I love reviews and love makes the world go round, and of course in order to move faster, the world needs to be moving, there for REVIEWS MAKE THE WORLD GO ROUND! oh.. and sorry for all my angst lovers for the kinda funny/sweet little flashback in there... I don't know what came over me.. I write from emotions and.. I don't know... o.o I was not my normal angsty self!


	12. Chapter 12

Hisoka Stared at the wall to the side of the bed blankly. He rested on his left side, right hand placed delicately on his fattening, rounding belly. It could be seen now, easily detected by anyone who would allow the thought to cross their minds. Naturally a normal person would never have thought for a male to be pregnant, but, for Watari and those not used to the normal, and those suspicious already, it would be as plain as the nose on his face what was under the layers of skin, fat and amniotic fluid surrounding the fetus growing in his stomach. There'd be no hiding anything now if anyone was to see him.

"Still up I see. You should really be resting. It's bad for your health to be up this late."

He could feel now his presence. He was be so lost in thought about what was happening to him, what he would tell them all that he hadn't even heard Muraki come in, or felt it in the slightest. He'd come accustomed to the doctors constant visits, he had to keep checking up on him, to make sure all was alright with his child. He'd been with him for so long now it seemed, a month at least, longer perhaps. He could be easily about 5 month or so along now, perhaps into the early 6th month. It was rather hard to tell, he had nothing to tell the passing of time by in the room, not even a window, and Muraki's visits were constant, and not truly on a schedule. More like, Muraki just stopped by whenever he could spare the time between filling his own needs for rest and work, and he seemed to be working at all hours and not really constant, more like, when he was needed. All he knew, was that with him, time crawled by, and every second felt like a lifetime, something he had not thought he would ever feel again, being virtually immortal. A thousand years should have been no more than the blinking of an eye to him.

There was a glare flashed at Muraki for a long moment that disappeared. It was hopeless fighting back against Muraki, after so many attempts Hisoka had finally given into this truth. Each attempt to end his own life was stopped by Muraki's ever watchful eyes and hands, every physical attack made against him when he visited proved fruitless. Muraki was smarter, stronger, there was no way Hisoka could find a way around him, so he just, gave in, with no more protest than complaints, glares and on occasion, a breakdown and waterfall of tears. "What do you care..." He mumbled.

"He's given up you know." Hisoka froze, his body tensed and stiffened and his eyes opened wide as Muraki's words slowly sunk in. He didn't have to ask Muraki the meaning, he already knew what Muraki was talking about. " It's been so long, he's given up. It was really a lost cause from the start actually. You came to me in all actuality, you didn't want to be found... did you bouya?" Muraki sat on the side of the bed, leaning over Hisoka to pull a few strands that had been annoyingly poking into his eyes. He happened to let his eyes wonder down to the boys stomach where his hand was clutching unconsciously, as if holding for life, to his round belly. He placed his hand of the slim pale hand, lacing his fingers with the small youthful ones. "It was you who came to me, you who wanted to leave. Was life with Mr. Tsuzuki so bad?" There was a slight laughing tone in there, a mockery of his turmoil.

Yes, he had gone to Muraki. He'd called to Muraki, he'd called, begged and pleaded for the release he thought he'd find in the man. It wasn't life with Tsuzuki that had made him leave, it was the life without him that he didn't think he could withstand, the life he didn't want to live. When Tsuzuki found out about him, what would he tell Tsuzuki, that on top of being what he already was, unnatural since birth, cursed, an ever youthful child that could never match up to him, he would now be like.. a woman? He was carrying a baby, and even though he'd been with Tsuzuki that the bay wasn't his. That the baby was actually their enemy's, their most hated, despised and forever, eternal enemy! He didn't want to be like that in front of Tsuzuki, he didn't want to hurt Tsuzuki that way and he didn't want Tsuzuki to know his weakness that way, to see all he'd let, no, had been letting the doctor do to him.

"It's not much longer now child. It'll be over soon, and then you can go, having served your purpose,. Provided that you survive, that is."

"Survive...?"

Muraki smiled. He found the fact he was about to tell the boy amusing, ironic in the face of his profession. "Being as it's a first, and that I've no idea how it happened myself, the only way I can see the birth happening is a surgical one."

"You mean..." Hisoka's eyes widened. He hadn't given the details of birth much thought to the details about the birth himself, Muraki had been one step ahead of him again and it was a frightening step, a frightening idea.

"That's right. One that, as far as I can predict, more dangerous, in this case, to the parent than to the child. Rest assure bouya, I will allow no harm to come to the child, however, your safety can not be guaranteed."

Hisoka's breathing picked up a notch for a moment, his mind working out the gruesome image. He'd pictured many ways that he'd be killed in the time they'd spent together, the doctor and him, none of them had come as happening during the actual childbirth. Muraki killed him, and his child would finish it by enter the world.

Tsuzuki held the Sweater close to his face, eyeing it carefully. There had to be something he was missing, some clue, some hint. Muraki never took Hisoka or left clues like this without a purpose. He was after him, had been for how many years now, why now would he just turn to his partner. He'd already raped him, killed him and cursed him to this miserable form of a half life after death. What more did Muraki want from Hisoka, he'd taken everything!

With a growl of frustrated rage Tsuzuki turned back to the map of Japan, he'd marked off each spot they'd check that gave no result with red and marked off each spot they'd found an article of clothing, or any clue at all in green. He studied it ever since, marking it accordingly as each item was found until they just stopped showing up all together. Now he was just left with a map of marking, a map of random location of Japan that gave no shape, clue to his whereabouts. He just knew there was something he had to be missing, there was a pattern in here somewhere, he just had to find it. He just had to..

Watari ran in through the door calling the older shinigami's name just in time to see said shinigami slam his right fist into and straight though the table he'd been staring at only a moment ago, the on which had held the map unknown to Watari. The man pulled his hand back cut and gushing blood, the fist was clenched so tight, the mans healing powers had a hard time forming the skin over it, stretch and shaking as it was. Tsuzuki hadn't even bothered to notice or care to take care of his wounds, not even to care of the splinters his body was healing into and around the new flesh.

"Tsuzuki..." Watari approached slowly, he admitted to it, everyone in the ministry had really, that as of late, he was scared of Tsuzuki. It'd been over a month now, much longer than he cared to remember since they'd last seen their little empath and everyone was beginning to loose hope, and every one was loosing energy. the Gushoshins had been running themselves down to the bone in their little fingers and working till all hours of night and day, sometimes working till they literally passed out at the computers, researching any and all leads on Muraki's whereabouts and keeping in touch with all agents acting in any part of the world for the ministry and all departments. It'd been sent as a notice really, and many were helping when they could. Tsuzuki, had never given up, constantly looking for the wheat haired boy. And now, right now, he might have just gotten the good news Tsuzuki needed to keep his world from falling apart.

"Watari..." It was a low tone, not a question, not anger, it was, a tone of a broken man, a man teetering on the edge of sanity and fighting for control of his body his mind and emotions.

"We've gotten word from once of our undercover employees. Muraki's been spotted.."

1562 words, short, but I plan to put many chapters up, I hope, for the sake of all of you, that it happens that way. I only wish.. I could have gotten more reviews, they're dwindling lately. even reviews from the same people, tells me they're still reading, they still like me, be nice, do a charity and drop a review...


	13. Chapter 13

"Spotted! Where!" Tsuzuki turned on Watari quickly. His face spoke of the punishment waiting for Watari if it was just a tale, or if he would not tell. Watari was even more frightened now. Tsuzuki was worked up now, if Tsuzuki was to run wild now it could jeopardize any and all attempts to locate and/or rescue Hisoka. It was Watari's duty now to keep Tsuzuki calm enough until a plan could be laid out and a search grid made for an easier search.

"Calm down Tsuzuki, you're no good worked up like this. We're not entirely sure where Hisoka is, but one of our undercover employees claims to have seen him at a hospital, working as the good doctor again as usual. We're planning a search party of the city and all surrounding cities now" Watari put his hands out slowly, reaching for Tsuzuki, he had to calm him he had to... Watari breathed a sigh of relief, a very small, barely noticed one, one more for himself when his hands landed on Tsuzuki's shoulders. Thing had been so bad lately, the man had become a shut in. If it wasn't information on the search for Hisoka he didn't talk to anyone, not even when passing them in the hall or any such manners. He went searching for Hisoka and when not doing that, he locked himself away in his room, not even sweets of any sort, even apple pie, could drag him out.

"Where was he seen Watari. You can't do this to me, Hisoka.. Hisoka's been there for so long he might be hurt or..." Tsuzuki's voice trailed off, he didn't want to finish the thought. If that thought were even to cross his mind, he feared he would jinx it, that it would come true. Tsuzuki instead shook his head violently. It was as if he was shaking the image, the very thought from his mind. Hisoka was alright was all he could keep telling himself, it was a mantra in his mind, he forced himself to believe when he doubted and it was the last thread keeping him sane. He was alright. He was alright.

Watari stared at the man. He seemed so strong when he'd first come in, but he was breaking down now, Watari could sense it in hi, with every shake of his head, through every spasm in his muscles that Watari could feel under his palms. Tsuzuki really was trying, he was putting his all into remaining the rock for Hisoka, even though no one knew where he was. Hisoka...

Watari knew the boy to be alive, it would have been known to the ministry if he'd been killed by now and Muraki would not still be keeping it so close, hiding as well as he was. The one worry Watari had, was the child. Hisoka had to be about six months along, and he was so pale, so thin and sickly when he'd left. Muraki might not know, or he might. He could have taken Hisoka for that reason, to keep or kill the child inside him, it was still unable to be seen. All Watari knew was that the baby was at risk, therefore putting Hisoka at risk as well. If the doctor hadn't figured it out, or had he figured it out too late, without the right vitamins and minerals or food.. He prayed the doctor had given the boy the proper care. Then the thought crossed his mind.. The little green eyed shinigami had to of grown, it had to be visible given that Muraki gave the boy any care at all. When Tsuzuki found him.. he'd know, he'd have figure out something and then what would he or Hisoka say. What would Muraki say. He could crush Tsuzuki, in his already fragile state, Tsuzuki could not have possibly taken much more.

"Tsuzuki... Tsuzuki.." Watari coaxed the man from his angered and frenzied state. His eye were opened, not wide, but wider than normal, his lips slacked and voice cracking. "Tsuzuki, sit down for a moment... there's something, I've got to tell you.." Watari shook, trying to swallow down air around the lump that's formed itself in his throat.

Tsuzuki was slightly taken back by this. Watari knew where Hisoka was, they'd have him back soon. Tsuzuki wanted the information, and the stress, physical, emotional and mental had all caught up to him, he knew it was taking a toll on him but he knew he could find Hisoka now, now that he knew he was so close, almost there. It was like the adrenaline he needed to kick him back into shape, exactly the boost he needed. Why now would Watari be scared, of all times? So he slowly sat down, watching intently the man for any changes in his story, and downfalls to their plans or any information that they knew had happened to Hisoka.

Watari paced a few moments after Tsuzuki had sat down. He paced, trying to find what he needed to say in words. He'd be going back on a promise he told Hisoka, he'd promised not to tell Tsuzuki, vowing to let the boy do it on his own free will rather than being nosey and telling his business to the ministry. However, now was just the sort of time where promises needed to be broken, where vows were useless in the face of what happened. If Tsuzuki was to find out what had happened after finding Hisoka, one or more of many things could go wrong with him. He could hate Hisoka, leave him, thought Watari doubted that. Watari was more worried, about Muraki using it against Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki was too weak now from all the sleepless days and nights searching. If he found out any other way, it could put one or both of them at risk of death. Of course, telling Tsuzuki, and explaining how it was his fault, was taking a risk at his own demise.

Knees and hands shaking, Watari sat in a seat across from Tsuzuki. "Tsuzuki... I don't know how to tell you but... I know why .. I think I know why Muraki.. kidnapped Hisoka..." 'Kidnapped."... what a word to use, what irony.

"Watari..."

"See.. Hisoka is..."

CUT IT THERE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! yes I'm evil, reviews.. I need more reviews! of and tis chapter is 1044 words, making for a total, between the two chapters updated today..2606 words! yay! REVIEWS!


	14. Chapter 14

Knees and hands shaking, Watari sat in a seat across from Tsuzuki. "Tsuzuki... I don't know how to tell you but... I know why .. I think I know why Muraki.. kidnapped Hisoka..." 'Kidnapped."... what a word to use, what irony.

"Watari..."

"See.. Hisoka is... pre-

"Tsuzuki, we need you." Tatsumi burst through the door, not giving so much as a knock was unusual for Tatsumi, however his purpose was not the 'usual'. They were starting the search for Kurosaki and he knew Tsuzuki would not take kindly to not being informed. Tatsumi was even a bit nervous to cause any more damage to Tsuzuki that might have made him breakdown finally. With Tsuzuki's destructive past and strength, even Tatsumi did not want to make enemies out of Tsuzuki. That was the reason why he'd sent Watari in to tell Tsuzuki about the sitting of Muraki, he stole his salary anyway, with all his wasting time on those stupid inventions of his and constantly trying to experiment on everyone in the ministry, it'd be no big lost if the honey eyed shinigami was to be killed. He stopped though when he saw Watari sitting there so uncomfortably in the chair with Tsuzuki across from him. 'He didn't tell him, did he?' "Oh, Watari. You're still here."

"Tatsumi! Have you found Hisoka yet! Where is Muraki!" Tsuzuki stood up quickly. He turned to face Tatsumi with blazing eyes. His fists were balled and he'd forgotten all about the conversation he was having with Watari. Now he didn't care what Muraki had taken him for. He wanted Hisoka back, safe in his arms. He wanted to hold his wheat haired empath close and tight and never let him go again, not ever. He wanted to stare into those deep pools of large emerald green, and wipe away any tears that should happen to fall from them and heal all his wounds. To trace those delicate feature of his face, his adorable little face, with his fingers. Those delicate eyebrows, smooth, soft skin, like a baby's, and those soft, pink lips. Tears stung at his eyes. "Where Tatsumi...!"

"Calm yourself Tsuzuki. We've organized a search grid, we've already got some people on search, you've been assigned your own area to search as well, I'll join in it myself of course. However, before you go we must know that you can handle this Tsuzuki."

"He's my partner Tatsumi!" Tsuzuki shout at the man, balling his fists at him. How dare he think that he would, for a moment, hesitate to find Hisoka, to get out there and look for him!

"That's our concern Tsuzuki. You must stay calm." Tatsumi placed his hands on Tsuzuki's shoulders. The man turned to look at the contact made between him and Tatsumi, then back to Tatsumi, his body slightly more relaxed, calmed of it's shaking fury. "You can't let anyone find out about you, and you have to remember, Muraki's known as a normal person out there. You can't fight openly, and we might need him to help us find Kurosaki. You can't kill him." Tatsumi felt the tense come back in Tsuzuki's muscle at this.

Can't kill him! How could Tatsumi say he didn't deserve death! He was right though, he deserved so much more! Death was too easy an escape. Muraki deserved to suffer all the torments of hell while still alive, all their punishments still wouldn't have been enough. New ones would have to be made, far worse than any torture that had ever been preformed in any world in existence through out history. His one real eye should be plucked from his skull by the claws of a buzzard, his arms torn apart and eaten by rabid wolves, his stomach torn open and gutted by rats, his legs should be drawn and ripped form his body after being broken, smashed to pieces and partially devoured by wolverines, his tongue ripped out by a raven all while laying on a bed of burning rose thorns pricking into his flesh and melting it away from his bones!

He looked up to Tatsumi again, shaking off the image of Muraki's punishment. That was not the most important thing, Hisoka came before anything in the world. When Hisoka was back with him then it would be time to deal out Muraki's punishment, and how great and swift his wrath would be then. "I can do it!" Tsuzuki nodded his head quickly and strongly, determined. Tatsumi nodded his in return and led the violet eyed shinigami out of the room and to give him his location and a briefing on the details of the search.

Watari stayed behind, watching the two leave. He had already been given his orders on where to search for Hisoka, but he could not get himself to move. Hisoka would have no choice but to tell Tsuzuki when he was found, he couldn't hide it now and the boy knew that this day would come. Watari had hoped to make it easy on him but, it was all lost now, his nerve, his chance. Hisoka.. would be on his own again.

Tsuzuki walked quickly through the streets. He didn't want to draw too much attention to himself, running around the city for no reason apparently, in the fact that he never stopped at any one place for more than a few second. H wasn't looking for Hisoka, he knew the boy would be hidden someplace out of site, really hard to find. It was the white haired demon he was looking for, the cause of all this pain. Muraki had already slipped by allowing himself to be seen in the hospital. They'd had undercover agents, one that Muraki had never seen, that they hoped Muraki didn't know were shinigami, to investigate areas, waiting for Muraki to mess up. He had to be here somewhere.

Muraki watched with an amused smile at the little porcelain doll with large painted emerald eyes and soft blonde hair. Acute little boy doll dressed in traditional Japanese clothes, it was so ironic. When he touched it he could feel him, it was like it was crafted from his very mold. It was then that something caught his attention outside the window. He didn't know why he turned, or how it was that he knew to turn but it was a strike of good fortune for the doctor. A certain violet eyed guardian of death was directly across from him on the opposite side of the road. With a growl Muraki rushed back against the wall of the building, away from the window. With all luck he hadn't seen him.

"What's he doing here now." the doctor growled to himself. It was still much to early to be revealed to Mr. Tsuzuki, it would ruin all his plans. "Got to get out before he sees me." Muraki looked about patiently. It was then that he saw a back door leading to the alleyway. He smiled, luck seemed to be on his side this day.

Tsuzuki turned. He thought he'd saw a flash of something in the corner of his eye. he turned and looked about but nothing was there other than the crowd of people moving from place to place. He sighed, looking closely into the windows of all surrounding shops. It was then that a doll shop caught his eye. A flash of the past came rushing into his mind of the "date" they'd gone on the first time Muraki had taken Hisoka from him. Muraki seemed so fascinated then by those simple little dolls, and every time they'd seemed to run into him, there always seemed to be a doll placed conveniently on a table, dresser or some place in the room. It was the type of thing you don't noticed, not until you have nothing else to notice. He had a nagging thought in the back of his mind.

Entering the shop he found himself to be disappointed. There was no sign of white anywhere, no unnatural eyes or platinum hair. He had to make sure though, so he took a little stroll around the small shop, checking behind each shelf and table stacked with dolls of all sizes, dressed from tradition Japanese to vicitorian age, from mermaids to fairies. But it was a little green eyed doll that caught his attention and held it there. "Hisoka..."

The blonde was snapped from his slumber by the slamming of his door. He rolled over as quickly as he condition would allow, having lost a bit of his agility in gaining a belly. He instinctively tensed. He could feel anger rolling off Muraki who had slammed the door shut behind him and now stood glaring at Hisoka. It made him shake and clutch at his arms, wrapping them around himself. There was anger, and fear, fear just rolling off him. Hisoka looked up in surprise, staring deeply, searchingly into Muraki's eyes. He hated the man, but the only thing that could keep him alive, the only thing that could save him, was the possibility that he could read the man, just like Muraki could read him.

Muraki glared at the boy, curled up in the bed and shaking. he was still here, a good sign. They'd not found where he'd hidden the boy yet, but it was only a matter of time. He closed the distance between hem quickly, knocking the boy over onto his back with a cry of protest and slight physical protest as well. He knew the boy was feeling him, feeling his emotions and ready to pass out from them as well, he didn't care. Holding the whimpering child's arms above his head his hand clutched roughly around the boys bulging belly. His only guaranteed bet on to being found was to take the baby now.

Muraki growled, narrowing his eyes. The boys soft cries were getting on his nerve. He was frustrated. He knew it was far too early to take the baby from Hisoka, the lung wouldn't even be formed well enough, it would die within moments after leaving Hisoka's body, if it survived the surgery. With a low growl in his throat Muraki tossed Hisoka's arm and body aside, rolling him onto his side with the force. He stood and moved from the bed, staring with his back to the boy at a wall.

Hisoka held himself, it was the only comfort he had, wrapping his arms tightly around himself. He looked to Muraki's back, reading the mans thoughts, reading his body language. "Tsuzuki hasn't given up, has he. He's getting closer and you can't stand it, that all you've worked to keep secret id crashing in front of your very eyes! You hate it! don't you! Don't you!"

A loud smack echoed off the walls of the room followed by a cry of pain as Muraki gave a sharp and powerful back handed slap to Hisoka's right cheek. The boys head and body twisted with the force of the blow tossing him from his kneeling position to flip and end up on his right side. Crystalline tears leaked from under thick lashes as Hisoka forced himself to all fours on the bed. All this time, Muraki had never struck him, never harmed him in the least. It was turning serious, dangerous. Muraki was becoming desperate now. And Tsuzuki was close. Hisoka didn't know which one he wished got to him first. His indecision and confusion seemed to have followed down into his stomach cause there was a sharp kick that made him groan. As the tears leaked down his cheeks he could mutter out only one thing. "Tsuzuki..."

WOW! this chapter was 1447 words, making a total of 4553 words in just the last two days alone! reviews people, nice new reviews means shiny longer, faster chapters and maybe some answers to some questions you might have if you ask them.


	15. Chapter 15

Watari watched Tsuzuki from some distance away. He'd been given his own area to search but he'd paid an off duty employee into secrecy about taking over his area. He couldn't leave Tsuzuki alone, he didn't believe the man when he said he could handle it if he were to see Muraki, nor did he think he'd handle the news Muraki would crush him with well either. Watari, in actuality was responsible for all this and he had to try his best to keep them all safe. He'd failed Hisoka this far but he knew Hisoka wouldn't want Muraki getting his ugly mitts on Tsuzuki.

Watari looked up from the sidewalk. He hadn't noticed he'd been staring at it while he was thinking. He almost met Tsuzuki's eyes as he turned around. With a muffled gasp he tried quickly to duck behind the side of a building into the alleyway. He prayed Tsuzuki hadn't seen him, his goal was not to get caught. If Tsuzuki caught him he'd kill him for not looking on his own for Hisoka, not that he could blame him, but he did have someone else looking for him. Then the thought of why Tsuzuki had stopped caught a tiny piece of his mind. Had he found Muraki!'

watari stuck his blonde little head out from the alleyway, looking first at Tsuzuki and following his eyes to a little shop across the way. "A dolls shop...?" Watari mumbled under his breath. "What in the world would he be looking there for...?"

As Tsuzuki headed for the shop Watari prepared himself for the trip across the road and searched for a good place to hide, out of sight from Tsuzuki, but still close enough to see and/or help if anything were to happen. It was just when Tsuzuki was about enter the door that Watari caught it, a flash of white and gray form the alleyway across the way. That long trench coat, that platinum hair. It was unmistakable. But Tsuzuki didn't seem to notice it. It was liked he'd noticed Muraki's presence through only feel alone, but it was just one or two steps behind.

Watari's muscles shook a bit, he was hesitant. Should he follow Muraki, hopefully back to Hisoka, so he could perhaps save the boy from Muraki, or stay with Tsuzuki. His fingers curled against the dirty old brick of the building and he jet across the street , taking up quickly after the retreating figure of the doctor, just enough to keep and eye on him. He couldn't loose him. This was his fault and if he were to let Muraki go now and loose any chance at finding Hisoka he could never let himself live with it. It was his duty to find Hisoka and he knew Muraki had to of seen Tsuzuki. He was on the run now, scared. He'd lead him right ti him.

The trip was long, and frustrating. Watari's heart had to of jumped up so far into his throat it would it would never go back down into his chest. Every time Muraki would turn to look back, he was really scared now, scared in a way that Watari had never seen him before. Something was wrong with his walk, something that even he knew he would never be able to pull of and it was finally setting in, finally snapping his cool, calm and collected nerves.

'He knows Hisoka's pregnant. He knows and he'd hoped to use it against Tsuzuki. If Hisoka's found now, he'll never have the time.' Watari snarled at the doctor, cursing his name and spitting as if the very thought of his name was poison, leaving a foul taste in his mouth. He couldn't stand having the thought of Hisoka being used for that, he'd already been used so many times before. Why couldn't Muraki just leave them in peace, let Hisoka move on with what he was now trying to make as the life he was never and will never be allowed to have.

A million thoughts ran through his mind. Hisoka was somewhat like a brother to all of them, Tsuzuki was the type you always had to mind, the one you always had to scold, just like a child, but Hisoka was the type that you admired, the one that you wanted to protect, regardless of their protest. It was an odd feeling to have, He wasn't young but he still held that innocence, that air of childhood, perhaps it really was just his looks that tricked you into thinking he was young. But as far as Watari could tell, he really was vulnerable, young and vulnerable cause he felt so betrayed, because he didn't trust people.

An abandoned building? Watari stared at the building ahead of him, the only building in the area. It looked like and old factory of some kind, half rundown. The half that still held some power it would seem was in rather good condition though, livable for those who were homeless and unfortunate enough to have to withstand life in such places. The lights gave it an eerie feel, a haunted one, or perhaps it was the fact he'd fallowed Muraki well into the night, through the forested lands and the landscaped around the building had been neglected unlike the apparent inside of the good half of the building. The snarled trees stretched long, fragilely thin fingers to the sky, scraping the building and windows with a ghostly screech.

"The perfect place for him to hide him. Should have seen it earlier." Watari whispered to himself. He took one more reluctant glance at the condemned building and head out after Muraki up into the building, all the while keeping a safe distance from Muraki. His hope was to find the exact room Hisoka was in, next Muraki was out, he'd break in and steal Hisoka out right under Muraki's nose.

That would prove harder than expected. Watari watch him open a windowless, inside room, one blocked off and held deep in the bowls of the building, right down either on to or just above the basement, Watari really hadn't paid attention to how deep each floor took him, only to how many he went by. Once the door was slammed shut behind him Watari snuck up against the wall, close to the door.

He tried touching the door, tried the door knob but he was sparked back. He was barely able to suppress the cry that wanted so much to tumble from his lips at the electric shock that forced it's way trough his body. It had to of been some kind of ward, or magic that Muraki had set up to keep Hisoka in and anyone else out. He placed his ear so dangerously close to the door he was scared the electrical would burn it off. He wanted to head what was going on.. He truthfully couldn't hear anything at first, the silence was what scared him most. Why couldn't he at least hear Hisoka's growls, his spews of insults.

Then he heard it. Hisoka's whimpers and a slight rustle of bed sheets. Watari froze. Muraki honestly wouldn't...

In his frozen state, time passed quickly, what took a minute or so only took a few seconds to his mind and he hear shout. Hisoka...

"Tsuzuki hasn't given up, has he. He's getting closer and you can't stand it, that all you've worked to keep secret is crashing in front of your very eyes! You hate it! Don't you! Don't you!"

There was a smack and a cry of pain that made Watari cringe. His hand twitched and clench in on itself a few times. He kept hovering above the door knob, wanting so badly to open it and just yank Hisoka from Muraki's dirty hands. More soft whimpers followed, almost completely inaudible from through the door. then a word, soft as the wind.

"Tsuzuki..." and a deep, angry voice, one that made Watari's blood run cold.

"If needs be I'll tear that baby from your stomach right now. Do not tempt me boy, I don't care if you live or die after this surgery! I will gut you myself afterwards, tearing every last mutant organ from your cold, lifeless body!"

Watari's heart stopped. His hands clasped over his mouth. His breathing doubled thought he was sure none of it ever filled his lungs, he didn't feel like he could breath. Slowly he began to back away from the door, never allowing his eyes to leave the door, watching it as if it were going to come to life and swallow everything and everyone he knew and loved. He felt numb, cold and without a heart, or perhaps it was because it was hurting so much, that it felt like it was missing. Finally, some distance away from the door, he turned and began to run. He ran and he never looked back. Looking back would make him stop, make him trip up, make his heart heavy and slow him down and he didn't have time to be slow. He needed to get to Tsuzuki.


	16. Chapter 16

**Important message at the bottom!**

Watari ran, ran just as fast as his feet would carry him. He didn't know how far or how long he'd ran but he didn't care. He couldn't stop until he'd reached Tsuzuki. Even then, he had to continue until they'd gotten Hisoka back. His eyes closed as he ran, running purely on instinct back to the city. The sight of the area around him was far too frightening, the images that filled his head of it were far too real. Muraki's words still echoed in his mind with Hisoka's whimpers.

'If needs be I'll tear that baby from your stomach right now. Do not tempt me boy, I don't care if you live or die after this surgery! I will gut you myself afterwards, tearing every last mutant organ from your cold, lifeless body!'

Moisture gathered at the corner of his eyes that he refused passage beyond his lashes. Watari couldn't think of that. If he were to think of Muraki doing such things, it would only make it that much closer to being true. Yet his mind kept nagging at him, taunting him with the fact that Muraki had already began the surgery. He could see it, hauntingly behind his eyes, every image. He saw Hisoka screaming, the spurt of blood as the knife dove into his stomach. The joining of 'mother' and child as the babies first screaming wail pierced the world.

With a gasp Watari's eyes shot open wide. The image made his feet faster, his mind more hectic. He began now to shout the mans name. Anything that could save a minute, a second, it was worth the effort. A second could mean the difference between life and death for their dear blonde co-worker. So he continued to call him until his voice got hoarse and rough, continuing on even then.

Tsuzuki walked from yet another shop. After searching the streets and searching again he began to question the shop keepers, describing Muraki in the best ways he could. It took all his will and strength not to refer to him as the devil, monster or demon or to describe any of the inhumane thing he'd done or could be doing now. Yet not a single one had remembered seeing him. It seemed suspicious, that out of all the people he'd questioned, not one of them could remember ever even seeing him around town. If Muraki was actually staying here, he had to of at least come out for food and such. It struck him, perhaps he was using his own powers to erase any remembrance of his presence.

Tsuzuki walked down the nearly abandoned streets of the city. It was already way too late and Tsuzuki didn't think he'd even make it to any other stores before they closed. He wouldn't return however, he'd wander the night, watching and waiting. Muraki had to show himself sooner or later and until he knew he had Hisoka back, he wasn't leaving this city. Until Hisoka was in his arms, holding him as he held him tight, none of it would stop.

Tsuzuki watched the opposite side of the street for a few. He didn't know how he was going to do this, how he could watch the entire city in one shot, especially not being able to use any powers at all. What would he do if he did run into Muraki? If Muraki was to try to hurt him, Hisoka, or any of the people on the streets..

From an alleyway seemingly leading from nowhere Tsuzuki watched a figure run straight at him He hasn't the chance to move out of the way before the dark, shadow draped figure ran full speed into him, toppling the both of them to the concrete of the sidewalk. With a cry of surprise and a groan of pain as he rubbed his head Tsuzuki picked himself up off the ground, trying to lift the weight of the familiar blonde haired man(?) sprawled across him in a panting heap. "Hey.. you alright?"

Large honey eyes opened wide. A blonde head snapped to Tsuzuki's, hair falling into his panic stricken eyes. "Tsuzuki!"

"Watari...? Aren't you supposed to be on the other side of..."

"I found Hisoka! Hurry!" Watari shoved himself up, wobbling and falling right back down. His lungs burned! They were on fire and it hurt just to breath in the tiny breaths it took to keep him conscious. Tears stung his eyes, begging him to slow his pace and his mind screamed for him to quicken his run back to that hellish building

"Watari!" Tsuzuki picked the man up to look him in his eye. The man tightened his grip on the mans shoulders when he felt Watari tremble and watched the tears forced out from his eyes. "Watari what's going on!"

"Muraki knows you're here! He's going to kill Hisoka!"

Tsuzuki's heart stopped in his chest. Every feeling froze in his blood, he turned numb and he couldn't get back the feeling in any part of his body. His heart shattered and he couldn't begin to pick up the razor sharp pieces from the frozen ground he sat on. Hisoka.. was going to die...

Ok.. very short chapter. I'm sorry fans, but I do have a point to make. I usually put in the whole warning of "Don't like, don't read" However, I'd figured most who were mature enough to read this would have figured that out, and also know better than to judge a book by it's cover, or rather, it's cover page. This is a recent review I've received exactly as it was written to me before I deleted it.

kara can't log in at the moment, so it's technically anonymous.

FLAME  
I AM FLAMING THIS FANFICTION...YOU DEFILE HISOKA WITH THAT THOUGHT... HE IS A GUY AND CANNOT PHYSICALLY HAVE CHILDREN...MY FRIEND, WHO LOVES THE SERIES AS WELL, SAYS YOUR SICK AND TWISTED AS WELL...!  
FLAME

kara mcpherson

This will not deter me however. For had they been fans they would have remembered Watari's potion and had they read more than the first chapter to actually bother to find out before flaming, they would have realized there was a reason his body was able to. I do so love to laugh at these though, to see how people can be so judgmental on only part of the information. I hope all those of you who are more open minded and also realize this is a FANFICTION, meaning I can alter reality in the first place because it FICTION, meaning not real, also find it entertaining.


	17. Chapter 17

Hisoka screamed. His voice was hoarse and worn, often cutting out in the middle of a scream and then sometimes picking back up at the end. His lungs burned, worn and breathless from his never ending screams. His wrist pulled and tugged and rubbed raw against the rope circles tied tightly around them as well as around his ankles. Muraki had tightened the once loose restraints that attached him to the bed. Where once he was able to move almost freely about the room he was now lay, sprawled on the bed, pulled tight with his arms over his head and his legs pulled straight to the barred footboard of the bed.

Muraki stared agitatedly at the scalpels and other objects set on the small table. He'd been sitting like this for a while now, staring at his reflection in the smooth metal. Each scream from the boy only made him want to slice his throat open more and more, to hear his gurgled cries as he choked on his own blood. His hands, interlaced and tucked beneath his chin, tightened, locking on each other in a fist like vice. He was stopped by his logic, by his knowledge as a doctor. The chances of the baby's survival if taken from the parent at this stage of pregnancy were rather slim. It would have been so much easier had he had the equipment that he has access to at the hospital, but he could not take a man into the delivery room, nor could he dispose of him there. His only option would have been to take the infant now and hope to make it to a hospital quick enough to save the child. Then, after the child was stable, he would take it from the nursery and disappear again until the time came to find Tsuzuki.

Muraki's hands shook as he reached for the scalpel, taking the cool handle in his fingers. He brought the blade up to his eyes, staring in something close to rapt fascination. He'd held one in his hands so many times before, so many lives had he saved and ended by the sharp edge of the blade but now it seemed unreal. He couldn't believe what he was about to do, what he had to do. Picking himself up from his seat he began his walk to the boy who at this time had stopped screaming, staring and shaking at the image of the older man with the blade in his hand. It was when Muraki placed his hands on the boy that he really began to scream.

"Tsuzuki! Wait!" Watari grabbed the mans arm. They'd made it back to the building, they were only a short distance from it now, the building sitting on it's hill, shrouded in darkness and gnarled trees. The man was already charging up the trail leading to the building, desperate to find Hisoka, and it was just that moment that something in Watari's minds, as well as the tingling of his hand allowed him to remember, something that made him suddenly recall a vital piece of information.

"Watari! What are you doing! Hisoka's in there!" Tsuzuki fell back, very displeased with Watari's sudden hesitation.

"Muraki's got the placed sealed off. He's using some kind of magic, we can't touch the door where Hisoka is. We have to find another way in."

Tsuzuki watched Watari closely. There had to be something Watari wasn't telling him, he was too urgent. There was something behind his eyes. But at the moment he pushed it off, he didn't care. He needed to find a way in to save Hisoka!

Muraki covered Hisoka's mouth with one hand, running the blade along the budging stomach with his other. "It looks like the time has come bouya. Time to surrender that bay to me and for you to move on and out of my hair for good once and for all."

Hisoka whimpered behind the mans hand. His eyes closed tight, salty little trails leaking there way down his smooth cheeks. His mind flashed back to all he'd known in his world. He didn't remember much of his family or his childhood anymore, he'd blocked that now, or tried. It was his life after death that came flooding back to him. Mr. Tatsumi, chief Konoe, Wakaba, Terazuma, Watari... Tsuzuki. His mind focused on Tsuzuki. He could see his warm smile and his cheery amethyst eyes, bright and shining like the sun on a warm blue skyed day. His calming voice, the one that had lulled him to sleep in the mans firm and caressing arms so many a time, his gentle hands that when needed could destroy to protect those he loved that ran through his hair, caressing his scalp so gently as he drifted to sleep.

It was over.

Muraki prepared to press the scalpel into Hisoka's flesh when a rumble, soft at first but growing til it shook the doctor, knocked him off balance. Behind him there came a large explosion, chunks of the wall blew at the doctor along with all the dust and debris that came from the tumbling wall that created a smoke cloud that smothered the Silver haired man, making him cough and fight for clean air. Muraki turn to the wall that had just been knocked down to find the cause of the destruction. He'd been certain that this section of the building was sturdy and not likely to fall any time soon. His eyes widened, his breath caught in his throat. There, in the whole surrounding the wreckage of the wall were two shinigami, one His chocolate haired love, the other the annoying blonde haired man with honeyed eyes and glasses, was it Watari? And between them was Tsuzuki's shikigami, the great white tiger Byako.

"Muraki." Tsuzuki took a step closer, growling out the mans name through clenched teeth. "Give me back Hisoka!"

The gray eyed man quickly lifted himself up grabbing the scalpel in hand and cutting the ropes tethering Hisoka to the bed frame. He yanked the boy from the bed by his hair, pulling him against him, back to chest and placed the scalpel against his round belly. Watari ran ahead of Tsuzuki then, everything about his from his movement to his voice, urgent and almost pleading.

"Stop it Muraki! There's no point in this. you know if you were to do that now, no one would win anything. You don't have time for even an attempt of a successful operation now." Watari took a step closer and for every inch he took Muraki pressed the blade deeper into Hisoka's belly, just breaking the skin and causing a small trickle of blood to begin to flow first down the blade and onto Muraki's finger and then from there to drip down to the floor.

Hisoka let out a weeping cry of pain. His eyes stung, and he could barely see through the tears blurring his vision. That voice was Watari's, and the one before it was Tsuzuki's. Tsuzuki was here, seeing him like this. The pain from his stomach shot directly up to his chest and plunge like a thousand knives into his chest. Tsuzuki saw him like this, at Muraki's will and pregnant, his stomach bulging and so obvious now. And Muraki, Muraki would surely tell him. He let out a heart wrenching sob, one that hurt himself to hear, one from his very own heart. "No..."

Muraki glared at Watari, then his eyes narrowed and a smirk came across his face in a smug expression. "It was you, wasn't it? You're the one that caused all this. I'm sure bouya is looking forward to your rescue of him."

Watari froze, his blood turned to ice. Muraki was throwing daggers into his heart and he knew it, purposely aiming for Watari's heart.

"Watari? What's going on!" Tsuzuki demanded taking a few steps closer.

"Didn't they tell you Mr. Tsuzuki? Why Hisoka had been pushing you away, why he came to me, looking for an escape from you." Muraki switched hands, the blade now at Hisoka's throat, forcing his head back against his shoulder as his other hand grabbed roughly his belly. His hand caressed in a mean way, rubbing and circling his round stomach leaving Hisoka nearly screaming as his emotions, his fear, his anger, his completely black void of a heart came flooding in. "This Mr. Tsuzuki. This is mine. Hisoka caries a little one of mine in his belly as we speak. A child of his and mine. That's why I've taken him, I will have what is mine."

Tsuzuki shook his head. He didn't believe it. It couldn't be true. Hisoka couldn't be pregnant, he was a boy. Men couldn't be pregnant and it couldn't possibly be Muraki's. "Wa.." The man turned to the blonde only to see the man shaking. He shook till his knees could take no more and gave out on him, making him fall to them on the ground. Tsuzuki watched the man. Muraki's words came into his mind, replaying from only a few moments earlier. 'It's your fault isn't it? You're the one that caused all this,'

It was true. Watari had something to do with it, he'd caused Hisoka to be.. But Hisoka would never permit it. He did it to Hisoka, unwillingly. But then how did Muraki.. "Impossible. It can't be..."

Muraki let out a horrible laugh. "Adorable as Always Tsuzuki. Tell me you don't remember the last time bouya had gone missing all those long months ago. He came back a few days later didn't he? Did you think he was on Vacation?"

"no. no. no. no. no. NO!" A large flash shot throughout the room as Hisoka let out a large defensive strike, blasting Muraki from behind him back against the wall. Hisoka fell to the floor, close to unconsciousness, unnoticed by Tsuzuki, was a small splash of red that had jet out as the flash was set off and a dripping on the floor as Hisoka fell forward.

Seeing his opportunity now Tsuzuki shouted out his commands. "Byako!" The tiger let out a blast directed at the silver haired man now that Hisoka was no longer at risk from that blast. There was an explosion as the blast connected with the opposite wall and continued on out through the rest of the building bringing down the building around them. Muraki had ducked from the blast, nearly completely unharmed save fore the damage Hisoka had been able to do, the magic having been broken or weakened when part of the wall came down earlier.

"I'll returned for what it mine Mr. Tsuzuki. I'll come back for you one day!" There was a white flash from behind a falling piece of the ceiling. once it had finished falling, crashing and breaking on the floor there was no longer and Muraki left to attack.

Tsuzuki ran to his little blonde haired partners side, gathering him in his arms. He called to Watari who still stood stunned. "Watari! The building's coming down! We gotta get out of here! Come on!"

Watari snapped from his daze, catching the two, Hisoka gather like a child in Tsuzuki's arms. The building shook as the foundation began to give way and the ceiling began to collapse on them. He stood and nodded his head, shouting out his agreement and acknowledgment to Tsuzuki as they head out at a run, neither one noticing the blood stained scalpel laying on the floor where Hisoka had fallen.

Once outside the now burning building, due to the breaking of gas lines and other flammable substances that had been lit by the sparks of the concrete and sheetrock and materials striking against the metal or steel frames of the building, the Two shinigami fell to the ground, Tsuzuki still holding tightly to Hisoka. Both were completely out of breath, looking back at the flaming building. It was far too close.

It was when the shock began to wear off and feeling of the present began to set in again that Tsuzuki felt Hisoka moving, or trying to move in his arms. He turned back to Hisoka and looked down to his face, streaked a deep crimson red. Red!

"I.. Tsuzuki I... I'm.. so.. sor-sorry... I..." Hisoka's hand that had been reaching for Tsuzuki's cheek trembled and shook with strained effort. His voice was so pained and so very weak, far too weak.

"Hisoka...?"

His pale, stained little hand fell just short of reaching Tsuzuki's cheek, falling lifelessly to Hisoka's belly where it lay across unthinkingly as his eyes rolled back and shut as his body went limp.

"HISOKA!"

VERY VERY IMPORTANT FOR ANY PEOPLE THAT LIKE THIS STORY! REVIEWER OR NOT!

2115 words! I'm going up again! yay! Any how, I've got a little sort of questioner going on, with this story, since it seems so angsty (though it was meant to be comedy when I first started it damn me and my angsty ways! u.u) I wonder how you, my fans, would like it if a few chapters in here were just silly or funny but with plot, not plotless funny but.. funny.. My aim is to please those that have already read and liked, I want to keep you reading! So I was wondering if you thought the silliness would ruin the mood of the story ok, so if you can, leave feedback on this concept (or any other nice comments! yay!) in the format of a review if you would so I can evaluate the readers demand.


	18. Chapter 18

Tsuzuki watched with a relieved yet heavy heart. Hisoka's was breathing, steadily and deep. He looked down the boys body to the round bump covered by the blanket. Thousands of thoughts raced through his mind at that moment. The crimson red that had stained his hands as he rushed Hisoka out of the collapsing building that had come from the slight slice into that belly, the deeper cut and nearly fatal to his little blondes throat that had happened as he threw Muraki back. The blade must have cut into his flesh as Muraki was thrown back and it nearly took their Hisoka from them.

His eyes stung as he looked back up at the bandages covering the youths neck. It had been so close, he thought he'd loose Hisoka forever. It was so hard, just to watch him sleep like this. He wanted oh so badly just to pick him up, to smother him in an embrace. He wanted just to hug and kiss him there and never let him go, to show him just how much he was needed.

"Tsuzuki...?" Watari poked his head in just a bit. "Has bon woke up yet."

"No." came the simple and unemotional reply. Tsuzuki hadn't talked to Watari since the scientist had talked to him about Hisoka's condition quite some time ago. He'd hadn't talked to a living soul, or non living considering his location, now back in the infirmary of the ministry. His voice was thick, hoarse and his lips pulled to be separated after being clamp shut for so long.

Watari looked down to the floor. He had to say something, he had to explain. Taking his chances he looked back up, meeting Tsuzuki's back with his eyes as he came in softly, clicking the door closed behind him. "Tsuzuki, I'm sorry. I didn't know it would be like this and..." He faded as he listened to the silence. Tsuzuki hadn't turned to look at him, hadn't even breathed it would seem. "I'll take it back after this is over.. I'll fix all of thi-"

"You knew the whole time didn't you."

Watari froze. There was a dagger shoved in his nerves and in his heart. Everything in his body hurt. "Yes."

"Why didn't he tell me? Did he think I would shun him, hate him for it? Why? Even if it is Muraki's... why would he..." Tsuzuki turned to face the man. His eyes were glistening with unshed tears as he sniffed and struggled to hold back the tears.

Watari rushed to the mans side, reaching out hesitantly to him. He didn't know if Tsuzuki hated him or himself, either one was bad, but he didn't want to make anything any worse than it would already be. "Tsuzuki... I..." Watari glanced over to the sleeping form of the boy. "Bon never wanted to hurt you. That's all that he ever thought about..." Watari placed his hands on the older shinigami's shoulders as his gaze wandered, landing on Hisoka's baby, buried deep, thankfully just deep enough under the layers of fat and muscle the had built up around it. "I can not guarantee anything... I don't know your and Hisoka's life nearly as well as either of you would nor is very possible at the moment to predict it, but Tsuzuki... Isn't there even the slightest chance... it's yours...?"

Tsuzuki's tears seemed to slow. No more fell from his eyes though those that teetered on his lashes and those already falling down his cheeks still continued on their trail. He still sniffled, his breathing just beginning to even out after his sobs as he looked first at Watari, who never turned to return the gaze, then on Hisoka's belly. Both men stared for quite some time at the sleeping figures gentle rise of his chest and belly. It was so odd, like Tsuzuki could feel it inside his own body, the life that Hisoka felt in his.

Watari sighed, dipping his head low as he looked to the ground, a slight smile gracing his lips, the first smile that'd been seen on his face for months. "Well, I guess that's up to you and Hisoka to find out and discuss. It really had nothing to do with an outside trouble maker like me."

"Watari.."

The man came back with a brilliant smile. "I guess I'll leave you to this, I think it'd be good for Bon to wake up to you anyway, and you have a lot to talk about." Watari patted the man on the shoulder as he turned, quickly making his way to the door. "Good luck there big guy."

"But Watari..." A slight sound, other than the nearly silent click of the door closing behind the scientist, stop Tsuzuki, drawing his attention to the still form on the bed. He watched for a moment or two and then his face softened. His eyes lit up a bit in a sad manner and a small smile came over his face. "How long you been awake..?"

"Long... enough..." His voice was hoarse, still sore and worn from screaming and now from disuse while he spent about a day, maybe more, sleeping. He felt odd, the pressure from what he could tell as bandages wrapped tightly but not too tightly around his neck. It was frightening yet comforting at the same time to fell a constant presence on his throat.

"You gave us all quite a scare there, kid. Don't ever do that to us again.." Tsuzuki tried to fake a smile but his sad eyes couldn't hide it from Hisoka, and try as he may Tsuzuki's shield from Hisoka's empathy was weakened by his state. Tsuzuki watched as Hisoka's slim hands slipped to and clutched around his stomach. "Hisoka.."

"You know. You know what he did to me now, what I let him do. Now I'm cursed with him growing inside me!" Hisoka's entire body was tensed as a bowstring. His muscles clenched and spasmed, making him shake" His eyes closed as he tired to lock himself from the world. He didn't want to know Tsuzuki, not in the stage he was in, not when he saw him like this.

Hisoka had almost been able to succeed in closing himself from the world when a warm hand ran down his arm to clasp his hand gently, pulling it from his round stomach and up to meet a pair of soft lips that kissed away his shaking ever so gently. His eyes opened, the tears that had begun to form just behind his closed eyes sat on his dark lashes at the bottom of his eyes. He stared straight, right into a wall at first, it was just the first place he looked having naturally been turned that way, then, slowly he turned back to see Tsuzuki, his hand to his lips. He sobbed, breath hitching and giving him the cutest hic-ups, just like a child.

"That night when you came home, with all those bruises and marks all over you, you said they were from practice, from you simply training. I knew then that something had to be wrong, I should have known better. How could I have been so blind as to not see it in your eyes, what Muraki had done to you. It's not your fault Hisoka, you never let him do anything he forces you and it's so wrong. It's not your fault Hisoka, it's mine. I should have seen, I should have known that he would try something again and I should have protected you from him, I promised you that night I would."

"Tsuzuki..." Tears began to drip down from his lashes, unheeded and unattended as they trailed down his porcelain cheeks.

"Forgive me, Hisoka. It's my fault any of this happened to you and I broke my promise." Hisoka felt moisture drip onto his hand and he knew Tsuzuki was crying. He was crying over Hisoka's mistake, Tsuzuki blamed himself for all this.

"Tsuzuki it's not your fault..."

"Hisoka... I do not know, but the nights before that.. before Muraki.. It was us..." Tsuzuki looked up for the first time, his long chocolate hair no longer shading his eyes in darkness. Tears welled at the corners of his eyes and tiny trails left their mark on his tanned skin. One hand moved from holding the boys hand tightly like the other and lay firmly yet not uncomfortably on his belly, right over the growing life inside him.

A new feeling over came Hisoka. His sense were flooded with Hisoka's sincerity, there was pride, there was hope and there was fear and sadness all mixed into a sweet, bitter mix. It was something Hisoka never usually encountered in a single person at one point, normally only in large crowds, so he found it quite possible, even through the haze and mix of emotions to keep certain, keep his footing in reality and not to slip into the world fo darkness. There was also a stirring in his stomach, a warming sensation under Tsuzuki's palm that spread through his entire being. The child living inside his body squirmed and kicked at this. Hisoka didn't know why, he couldn't tell the type of kick it was, if it was just a soft babies kick from the normal movement, or an angry kick like the type you get when you eat too many spicy foods and the baby's trying to get revenge. A jolt ran up and back down his spine at the thoughts that ran through his mind on how the child was reacting. It had responded to Muraki nearly the same way. What did it mean? Did it mean anything...?

"This baby could still be ours, Hisoka... Just yours and mine.. Hisoka, I want this chance, I want to have a child with you, even if it's only a chance at that..."

"Tsuzuki...!"

"I wished for so long that I had had the chance to have a son during my life, or a daughter. Now's my chance and it's with the one person I've found I can love in the entire world, the one person that understands me and that I can live in this world for Hisoka. It's you and me. I'd love this child just the same as I will and always have loved you. Nothing's changed Hisoka. I still love you... and I love that this child is part of you, Muraki's or mine, there's a piece of you in there... There's still you..."

Hisoka could feel Tsuzuki's hand shake as it sat on his body. He watched as the amethyst eyes he loved so much sparkled with the tears that threatened to fall, in happiness or in complete internal agony he wasn't sure, he had a feeling that was all up to him. He slipped his slender fingers along the mans arms and down onto his hands, interlacing their fingers together on his swollen belly, holding it there on the top, listening for long moments to the sound of his heart beat, and what he might have imagined as the baby's. He felt it kick, showing Tsuzuki just where to feel without a word of exchange between them, just how to feel it kick, just where to go. It felt right to him now, seeing Tsuzuki's face so caught up in the amazement of feeling what he hoped to be his child kicking inside him. He didn't feel dirty anymore, he didn't feel dead or useless like he had in the presence of Muraki or when he'd tried so hard to hide it from Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki made him feel normal, despite how much he knew he wasn't.

"Tsuzuki.. if it's Muraki's..."

"It's yours Hisoka... no one alive, dead or in any world can take that away. That baby is yours, part of you, your flesh, and blood. No one else's matters..."

Hisoka shook, tears stung the corners of his eyes as he watched his partner, his lover, his world. The only reason for being here, the only reason was Tsuzuki. Hisoka could not believe he ever lost track of that, that he could put any item or any concept above that, but now it was back, and he wouldn't let go for the world.

There lips met in a lunge that Hisoka made from the bed at Tsuzuki. Hisoka's arms wrapped around Tsuzuki's neck and Tsuzuki in turn caught the boy, wrapping his arms tightly and protectively around his torso, holding the back of his head and tangling his hands in the soft blonde strands he'd so missed running his fingers through at night. Tears flew from both their eyes as they hugged and kissed, Hisoka just clutching to Tsuzuki for dear life and Tsuzuki kissing , crying and laughing as he held the boys, plating tiny little kisses all over the boys face and head, kissing from the crown of his head down to his neck just happy to be able to touch him, to hold him again.

He'd found his place in the world again, and he'd never let it go again, not for anything.

2188 words! yay! up again! well.. no comedy yet... whether there's going to be any is still up in the air right now... we'll see, I really have to think about the next chapter, yup STILL NOT DONE! mwuahahahaha! I'm evil, cause it's at least a few more chapters, but it is winding down fold, hope you're enjoying the last few chapters of this story, planning to revise afterwards (hopefully...) and is there going to be a sequel... who knows... up to how many reviews I get... Love ya, review! .


	19. Chapter 19

Tsuzuki closed the door softly behind him. He'd just come back from the office, filling out nasty old paper work all day! he had miss Hisoka while he was out now. Hisoka usually did most of the paperwork, even most of his. He used to say that Tsuzuki was so lazy and idiotic that he would rush through them if they were left up to him anyway. He did small jobs now, the boss had been going easier on him, even giving him a vacation after they found Hisoka to give him time to spend with the boy as he recovered.

As he shed his coat and shoes he thought about that time. Hisoka had been so quiet, he barely ate or moved about. Unlike Hisoka he spent most of the day just laying in bed, resting with his eyes closed. Sometimes he was sleeping, others he would just be listening to the sounds around him. Hisoka never really told anybody what he was thinking during those times but Tsuzuki knew he had heightened all his senses, most of all his hearing. Every time Tsuzuki would come through the door or move and cause a rustle the boy would tense or make some sort of motion to indicate that he'd knew it. It was quite a job to keep him healthy during that time, he was hurt, in more than one way and he didn't want to do much of anything, including eating or even reading. Hisoka, his Hisoka, the bookworm, didn't feel like reading.

With a sigh Tsuzuki headed into the living room calling out the small blondes name as he did so. He paused, frozen in place as he walked in to see the room. The TV. was on with the VCR running though the tape had long since stopped. Small snack, only half eaten littered the coffee table. The best part though was the body sprawled out across the coach, tangled in the shirt even Tsuzuki was too small to fit in and a cute little pair of loose fitting PJ pants. The book slipped form his fingers and landed with a soft thud to the carpeted floor as he turned in his sleep, moaning softly in his sleep.

A smile and a soft chuckled rose in Tsuzuki. He was reminded of the first time he'd met his new partner. The boy had accidentally taken his wine and passed out in only seconds of the alcohol hitting his stomach. That night as he watched the loud mouthed kid sleep he was so taken in. He was so cute with his mouth shut and he'd been so tempted to just take pictures. Sure it was for blackmail at a later date at how innocent and young he looked laying in his bed, but that wasn't the point.

Tsuzuki was just happy to see the boy becoming more of himself, eating, though it was rare for him to be eating junk food. He usually yelled at Tsuzuki for that, taking Tatsumi's side in the food being a waste of money and not nearly as filling as a normal meal. Wait! Were those his snacks! Those were his! Those were his chips and his little apple and cherry pies that he'd saved for himself after dinner! Hisoka had stolen his stash! Tsuzuki's eye began to twitch as he looked at all the open and half eaten snacks and his blood temperature rose until he heard Hisoka mumble in his sleep as he twisted again.

The mans face softened as he put down his stuff, closing the TV off as he walked over to the boy. He looked down at him for a moment, he looked so cute on the coach, not nearly as old as he seemed when he was awake. TV off he figure it was best to next move the boy into their bedroom. "Hisoka, come on. You can't sleep here silly, you'll be all sore when you wake up and I don't want to hear your bitching then." Tsuzuki grunted slightly as he scooped the boy up into his arms bridal style. He'd put on a bit of weight, those that was expected, Watari guessed that the baby would be due any time now. It wasn't going to be much longer before they would know what and who's the baby was.. or so they hoped.

Hisoka moaned Tsuzuki's name, half aware of the man as he was lifted. He was so tired out he didn't have the strength to open his eyes as much as he wanted. He could feel their destination, knowing Tsuzuki was bringing him to bed just by the twist and turns taken to walk down the hall to the room and then to open the door. He hung on the man, wrapping his hands in the mans shirt. He didn't even begin to loosen his grip until he felt the soft firmness of the bed meet his back, even then he held on, forcing Tsuzuki to come down with him as he spread him on the bed. He moaned out in protest as the mans hands came up to pull His hands from his shirt so he could move down to the bottom of the bed and lift the blankets up over him. Once the blankets hit him, the weariness of sleep tried to take him again and he forgot, or more like surrendered to the idea of asking Tsuzuki to sleep him with him. He just wanted sleep.

Tsuzuki sat there on the edge of the bed, just watching his little Hisoka sleep. He chuckled inwardly, Hisoka hated when Tsuzuki called him that. Reaching out a hand he ran his finger through the soft strands of golden wheat. Regardless of how things had changed, Tsuzuki still had a heavy heart. He worried, though he tried to keep it from Hisoka, lying even to himself to trick Hisoka when he got suspicious and tried to read his emotions. He was scared, the baby would be Muraki's and the consequences if it was. Hisoka would ate himself, and maybe even him. He'd talked Hisoka into keeping it, even into be a little excited about all of it. Even more so that scared him, was how the child would be. If it was Muraki's... there was a good chance the child would be a born killer, sometimes those sort of things are just genetics something you're born with that was past on from a sick parent like him

He mentally slapped himself for even thinking things like that. What if Hisoka was to get wind of such an idea, he could fall back into that depression stage he'd been in when they'd first found him. Tsuzuki was so scared, he thought he'd lost his real Hisoka forever. It's taken forever, and Tsuzuki never left his side till he saw the boy in a better mood. When he wouldn't eat Tsuzuki wouldn't put down the plate until he'd eaten, even cried as he tried to get him to take at least a few bites of the food.

He let his hand wonder softly down the boys body, over his shoulder and down his arm until it came to rest on the bulge that was the baby. He watched as it rose and fell softly with Hisoka's breathing. He could feel quite a bit of movement inside, kicking and just moving about. He wondered how Hisoka felt, feeling it inside his own body, or how he could sleep through it. Though, in a way, Tsuzuki wished it had been him that Watari had did this to him. He was sort of envious of Hisoka, being able to feel, to have the abilities of giving birth, of making a life.

Feeling the baby move inside Hisoka, Tsuzuki's attention was drawn to his closet in the room, the one that was always a mess, so much a mess in fact that even being the neat freak he was that Hisoka had given up on keeping it clean after only about 3 attempts. He was glad Hisoka had decided to give up on his closet so soon, cause he'd hidden a great deal of things in there. He'd secretly been buying a few things on the side, of course Hisoka yelled when his paycheck came back short of money but he assumed it was from Tsuzuki stuffing his face with desserts. Hisoka had no idea how wrong he was. Most of the money had actually been going towards baby stuff. Stuffed inside the closet was baby blankets and a crib, not yet assembled, a few small toys, like stuffed animals and such. He couldn't let Hisoka see it, he feared the boys reaction. Hisoka might decide on other things once this baby was born, depending on who's it is. If Hisoka decided to get rid of the child in one fashion or another then he didn't want him to come home to baby stuff.

Tsuzuki smiled at the soft breaths coming from Hisoka's lips. He'd better get out into the living room and start cleaning up. Hisoka would kill him if he was to just sit with him and let that mess sit and rot out there. He still remember the time Hisoka beat on him for staying with him after he'd found him on Tsubaki's floor on the Queen Camellia instead of get out on the ship to work. Tears streamed down his face as his little puppy ears sprouted in the memory. "He's so mean...!" A groan from the boy made him gasp and clamp his lips closed. He didn't want to wake the boy, Hisoka was nasty lately with mood swings, and waking him up was one of the worst things you could do. "I love you, Hisoka" Tsuzuki leaned forward planting a soft kiss on the boys lips.

After Tsuzuki had left the room to clean the living room, Hisoka began to toss a bit in bead. He couldn't get into a peaceful dream. Everything just seemed darkness and he couldn't tell why. Then he felt his arms lifted above his head. A silk ribbon entwined between each one of his fingers, then wrapping individually around his wrists and finally binding them all together in the most careful and elegant way he'd ever felt. It wasn't normal, the delicacy taken in tying him this way. Why was anyone tying him in the first place?

His tired green eyes opened slowly to see the sakura petals falling around him. A jolt jumped up into his heart as it began racing, pounding against his rib cage. His breathing picked up, lungs burning from screams he hadn't yet let out. "This is a dream! Only a dream! Nothing but a dream!" His eyes closed tight again, fighting against what he knew would be waiting him.

"Yes poppet, just a dream." Hands roamed down his body. They were cold, ice on his hot flesh. The ruins of his curse flared and burned, he could feel the flashes, throbbing red of his marks. The hands roamed lower and lower on his body, caressing and trailing a line of molten fire down his body. His body betrayed him, reacting to the mans touch as he was brought to full arousal.

"NO! Please!" Hisoka screamed. His back arched off the ground, screaming and sobbing as the man plunged deep inside his body, his soul, his mind. Every piece of the two were linked through any and all means possible. His cried choked him as his tears streamed down his face, his mouth opened wide, never closing in constant, alternating silent and ear shattering screams. 'This is just a dream!'

One thing he had notice that hadn't changed from his previous dreams was his belly. It had remained flat, he wasn't pregnant. It was a dream Nothing but a dream! That's all he could keep telling himself. But then, he felt it, as the man above him grunted and groaned like a pig in ecstasy, felt the bulging in his stomach, the growing, the pain. He felt the sickness, the pure nauseating sensation of feeling of being filled. He could feel Muraki put his hand over his stomach.

"It's time poppet. It's time for my new form."

A pained flared through his entire body, more pain then had ever been felt in his body before. It was an indescribable, unbearable pain that made him crave death. Through his scream he struggled for breath ti scream, to cry to speak.

"TSUZUKI!"

2086 words! down again, but not by much... story's really wrapping up here folks. drop many new, shinny reviews and I will come up with sequels... if I can...


	20. Chapter 20

Here it is folks. The last chapter. keep up the work with reviewing, I know it's done but I might be compelled to write a sequel, or revise or something.. plus it's always nice to get feedback on how well people thought you ended the story. oh and congrats me! first multichapter fic I actually finished! yay. Sequel..? maybe...

"TSUZUKI!"

Out in the living room the chocolate haired man dropped the items he was in the middle of transporting to their proper place. He turned without hesitation running into the room he'd left Hisoka in. He burst through the door without mercy for the wall behind it, taking in all that was around the room before taking a spot at the boys side. He did not trust anything, he didn't like leaving the boy alone. Muraki could always come back. The boy was screaming, crying as he tossed. His hands were tangled in the sheets, knuckles white. "Hisoka! What's wrong.. Hisoka!"

A scream broke free from his lips as he let go of the sheet, Tsuzuki thought he heard a rip of the fabric, but past the thought off as he watch the boy clutch his stomach. "Tsuzuki...! It.. It hurts...!" Tears ran from the boys eyes. Tsuzuki had rarely seen the boy like this, and most rarely from physical pain. Hisoka was the type never to show his weakness in any form. It had to be bad.

He took the boys hand in his own. He could feel the tenseness, the shaking and pain filled muscle as Hisoka gripped it with near bone shatter strength. "Hisoka.. it's time?" The man asked. Hisoka gritted his teeth, nodding the best he could. He didn't know himself, but he couldn't find any other explanation. He wanted Watari, he wanted painkillers!

"It's alright Hisoka. Shh." Tsuzuki whispered, running his hand over Hisoka's hair. Tsuzuki's heart raced in his own chest, he knew Hisoka must not have been in much better of a condition. He lifted the boy gently into his arms, trying to get the younger shinigami into the most comfortable position he could offer. "We'll go get Watari, it'll all be alright" Tsuzuki cooed to the young man as he headed off. Hisoka was in pain, a lot of it. He could feel it inside his own body. He wanted Hisoka to feel better than that, he didn't want him in that pain.

Hisoka sat on the bed, screaming as the "contractions" came. Watari was desperately trying to prepare. None of them knew how it was going to work, though Watari had supposed it would be a C-section. He was still in pain though, lots of it. Sobs came between cried as he pressed his head back into the pillow on the bed.

"Watari. What's going on?" Tsuzuki hated leaving Hisoka's side in when the boy was in such dire need of him but he needed to see what Watari was planning.

"Because his body thinks it's a woman's, the baby's trying to come out the same way that it would if he was a woman. Obviously, his body only being part woman now, can't accommodate the.. necessities of childbirth." Watari assembled the knives and scalpels he would need, along with the necessities to stitch the boy back up. He could heal quick, being a shinigami, but the man would take no risks, at most, the stitches would only help him to heal faster. "That's why Bon's in so much pain. His body's trying to allow the baby out in a way it can't come out. He needs an operation quick or things could get dangerous for Hisoka." Watari looked up from having assembled his needed equipment to see Tsuzuki staring wide eyes, mouth agape at the utensils. "Tsuzuki...?"

The man had watched as each item was laid out. He couldn't believe he was going to have to trust anyone to cut into Hisoka's flesh, to cut Hisoka's baby from his belly. He just couldn't believe this moment had come.

"Tsuzuki.. maybe you should stay out of the room when I.."

Tsuzuki was snapped form his daze at that. He looked up at the blonde shinigami, staring at him, speechless for long moments. "I'm not leaving Hisoka's side, not for a moment."

Watari was taken back a bit. He wasn't surprised, he knew Tsuzuki would say something like that, but he worried for the man, and the boy. Tsuzuki was not in the best of conditions to help Hisoka along. He was scared, Watari could see it in his eyes. He was frightened that the procedure was going to kill Hisoka, that it would killed the baby, that the baby wouldn't be his. All the thing Hisoka would not be able to deal with if Tsuzuki was going to break down with in the delivery room. "Tsuzuki.. you're got to be strong.. for bon." Watari patted the mans shoulder, making eye contact with the boy. He needed to reassure the man. He prayed it had worked when the man nodded and he left to wash up. He'd wasted enough time, time was something they didn't have much of, and something not affordable to waste.

"Tsuzuki...?" Hisoka's voice shook as he called the man. His body shook as they poured the disinfectant on his stomach, trembling from head to toe, outstretching to his fingers until Tsuzuki took hold of one. They'd already given him a strong dosage of drugs to dull the pain. Watari had talked to him as well as he could in the haze between pain and the one the painkillers produced afterwards. He was told he'd still be able to feel the knife, but just a numb, running along his nerves, not really a form of pain. They told him the risks, and why they gave him the dosage they gave him. They were truly very scared of giving him too much.

"It's alright Hisoka. I'm here." Tsuzuki squeezed Hisoka's hand back, reassuring him of his presence. "I'll be here the entire time ok." Hisoka closed his eyes, squeezing the mans hand hard as he could get his fingers to claps around it.

"Hisoka, I'm going to start now. Don't worry, you remember what I told you right? You'll only feel it slightly if at all, kay." Watari picked up the scalpel, fully clothed like a real doctor and prepared. It would be his first time doing this, but he was certain what he was doing. Taking a look at Tsuzuki, knowing he couldn't see Hisoka, he knew he was heard, understood and allowed to continue. He began to cut through the layers of flesh and fat, bit by bit, careful with each inch he sliced through.

Things went mostly uneventful until Watari came to the wall of the "uterus" Cutting gently, even more carefully through the tissue here, careful due to the knowledge of what lay just beyond the tissue. It was then that he realized it, as he pulled the tissue away, hands nearly shaking with the concentration he poured out of him into this work, the danger of what had happened. "No!" The sound slipped from his lips, his body shaking

"Watari?" Tsuzuki asked urgently his body jolting forward a bit, wanting to see what had happened. Why Watari had acted so scared, so frightened. He needed to know!

"The cord's wrapped around it's neck!" Watari recovered with speed form his shock, forcing himself to think quickly. He pushed his hands in Hisoka's stomach tissue, trying his best not to cut, tear or damage any of the tissues around the area, but he wanted to get the cord off from around the small infants neck. He could see already that the baby had already been like this for a while. He didn't know how long the baby had been like this, but it didn't seem to be moving, or struggling at all. He shook as he wrapped his gloved hands around the child, cradling it's head in one hand as his other worked the body out, lifting the entire child right from Hisoka's body.

Tsuzuki caught a glimpse of the body as Watari pulled it from Hisoka's stomach and place it in the walled table He'd prepared for it before hand. The cord was still wrapped around it's neck, it's skin a faint blue color. He trembled, shaking from head to toe as tears began to sting his eyes. He shook so terribly, it was visible to any who would look in his direction, and Hisoka felt it from where he held Tsuzuki's hand. When he heard no cries after feeling the body pulled from him, he became worried.

"Tsuzuki..."

Watari clamped the cord after untying it from the child's neck cutting it the way it should be. The infant still didn't seem to move or take a breath. He lifted the child to his ear, listening for a heart beat, breathing, any sign of life. His eyes began burning with tears as he looked up from the infant to Tsuzuki, shaking his head.

Hisoka watched his amethyst eyed love, shaking himself more and more by the minute. The longer Tsuzuki didn't talk, the worse the situation got. "Tsuzuki... Tsuzuki?"

Tsuzuki released Hisoka's hand. He walked numbly towards Watari. He couldn't hear Hisoka call him, the shock not worn off. He watch Watari holding the infant form, blue from lack of oxygen. He reach out with shaking arms once he was close enough to Watari. He wanted to hold it, he want to know for himself that the baby was gone. Watari didn't put up a fight against it, allowing Tsuzuki to slip the baby from his arms. He examined the infant in his arms. A boy, a little son. He couldn't see his little eyes, closed in death, but he had a soft little mop of hair, wheat blonde just like it's parent. It looked just like his little Hisoka, just the spitting form of his Hisoka. "No.. no.. it can't... no..."

"Tsuzuki!"

Tsuzuki shook as he cradled the child in his arm, holding it with one and placing the other shaking hand over the child's chest. He rubbed the infants chest, right above his heart. He couldn't believe the baby was dead, he wouldn't believe it. With shaking hands he continued rubbing away with pressure at the child's heart ignoring as Watari tried to reach out for him, trying to stop him. This couldn't happen, not now, not now that he had him right here in his arms. He began to rub with more vigor, more desperate need.

"Tsuzuki!" Watari shouted at the man desperate to make him stop, if only for Hisoka's sake. It was at just that moment that there was a gasp taken and wide amethyst eyes opened wide as a high pitched wail rang through the room followed by fits of coughing and spitting as the infant drew breath. Watari gaped in amazement of the miracle that had just happened. The child had been gone since before he pulled it from Hisoka, he was certain of it. Sometime before the operation, amongst the fits of movement in trying to be born the cord must have gotten tangle around his neck and he literally just suffocated to death. Yet Tsuzuki, with no more than will and the most untechnological of uses had brought it back to life. It was nothing short of a miracle that made him quake in place as he listened to the screaming wails of the infant cry in the mans arms.

Tsuzuki let all his tears fall as he stood there, watching the infant boy kick and throw about his arms and legs as he cried. He watched the color, once drawn from his little chubby face come back to life again, return to it's red pink from birth. He had quite a set of lungs on him, he had to of gotten it from Hisoka, made for all the screaming Hisoka would teach him by calling him an idiot, among other names.

It was then that he heard, above the baby's cries, the one of Hisoka as he heard for the first time, the infants screams. That's what had been growing inside him, what had tortured him for so long, what had ultimately drew him closer to Tsuzuki. That's all that embodied all his emotions at the moment. That was it.

Tsuzuki wrapped the blanket in which Watari had wrapped the child in tighter about his tiny form. He was amazed at how small the little boy was, he could almost hold him in his palm! He chuckled, knowing the baby would take after Hisoka in stature, small all his life. He saw it only fit that the "mother" of the child was allowed to see his son. "Hisoka.. look..."

Tsuzuki held the infant eye level with him, allowing him to see his son for the first time. The child still was screaming, irritated by the outside world apparently. His eyes were screwed shut but on top of his little head was a tiny mop of hair that was unmistakably his. His wheat blonde that matched no one else's but his own. It was when he reach out to hold the child that the wailing cries subsided and the child calmed in his arms. After long moments of holding the child, shaking with the feeling of it all, to hold the life you've made, the child finally opened his eyes for the first time for the parent it had come from and looked at him with deep purple eyes.

He was trembling, the tears he fought back falling down his face. He turned quickly to Tsuzuki, who had a large smile plastered to his face. He'd seen, he knew. Purple, beautiful amethyst eyes! It was his, the baby was his and Tsuzuki's and no one else's! Only his and Tsuzuki's...

"Think of a name yet Hisoka... he's going to need one..."

"Keitaro..." Hisoka said watching his new son with wide, sparkling eyes full of pride.

"Blessed...?" Tsuzuki rolled the meaning of the name around in his mind.

"He was blessed... he would have died without you... I would have died without you... and we're blessed with him in return.." Hisoka turned to Tsuzuki looking at the man with a look in his eyes he'd not seen in a while. There was everything there, all Hisoka's bare emotions laid out for him on a platter. His love, his hate his fear. All of it. But all he knew was there was love, and that's all that matter. "Aishiteru..."

"I love you too.. Hisoka..."

SEQUEL? MAYBE... Reviews! .


	21. Chapter 21

alright, now I know I haven't written in a long while and all but I've been rather busy with school and all, I've been having a lot of problems with "partners" in my class and I'm pretty much failing because of them. However, this bullshit with has just got to be dealt with. First off, only assholes make fun of someone else. They can't stand the whole concept it would seem, but as I told them from the very start "Don't like, DON" T READ!" Got, how fucking dense are these people! This is the reason why America is one of those places that can't have any sort of semi offensive material including nudity and curses and even stupid fucking things like being able to say "Merry Christmas" If you don't like it, turn the other way, I'm not forcing you to read it. Besides, they take blows at such low and retarded things, they have really got to be a bit slow. such as typos. I'm so sure that they've never misspelled something, oh so sure! and even if they haven't, if it's obvious what was supposed to be spelt, like cock and clock, then why make such a big deal about it.

Besides that, they've also never even read the books of the fandom they're making fun of me for, or they would not be saying other such stupid things. Such as "Dead people can't get sick" First off, even in volume 6 by the original author Yoko Matsushita, Hisoka says the words and to quote "Right now I'm so I feel sick" And besides that it was just an excuse that Watari was coming up with and I never said what it was. He could have easily said it was his empathy. Like that never interfered with this before. DUH PEOPLE! He could just have easily said it was overstressed from work or being tired just like Yoko said in the first place. And as for the whole pregnancy thing, don't even get me started on that.

First off, we all know he's not normal to start with. Like the story said if they were smart enough to actually read it, the potion Watari gave was the whole "sex change thing" that he was making in the manga. He says right in the story, IT WORKS INTERNALLY ONLY! And I hadn't stated how long ago it was given to him. Maybe he got pregnant before his first "period", though it's kindda gross that that's what you think of. And well duh, what other way is anything supposed to go in but the ass. And the whole thing about his balls being what he can use for breastfeeding. HELLO! Back to the start! INTERNAL! MEANING NO BOOBS! morons. Breasts, now a days, are certainly not needed for feeding. It's kinda called evolution, something that passed morons( like you flamers) over long ago. How often is breastfeeding actually used now? A lot less than bottle feeding. So he doesn't need breasts in the first place.

And Muraki being there. The guy was constantly in his head through the three years he was being killed, the anime and the manga. Now when I right fanfiction all the sudden it's not supposed to be like that? I mean sure, maybe I had him a little more dominant in his mind this time than the others but I also had him kidnapped again, so who's to say that nothing happened in that time that Muraki created a link between him and Hisoka. None of you morons making fun of it stopped to think of it huh bakas? Not to mention how you love to make fun of the way that he seemed soft with Hisoka when he came running to him. See, I see the relationship of Muraki and Hisoka rather complicated. Don't you realize that even in the anime when Muraki is going after Tsuzuki, he always seems to take time out of his day to torment Hisoka as long as the boy isn't directly in the way of him getting to Tsuzuki at that very moment? See, that's cause Muraki's crazy, he tortures the ones he loves, sometimes to death, which is exactly as I think he did to Hisoka and that's why he seems to care about him at times. But if you'd seen that, you might actually be thinking of a different point of view other than your own and that would call for open mindedness. Not to mention why he went running to Muraki. Well, in the 3rd volume, he admits to having wanted to die when he was sick for 3 years because of Muraki's torture, and through the first few chapters, isn't that exactly what Muraki was doing to him again, only this time mental and emotionally? See it's like those crazy people you hear about that commit suicide because they hear voices and stuff, it kind of drives you to it, so that's why Hisoka's become a crazy, whiny uke. There's the lies eating away at him, the stress of being pregnant, mental, emotional and physical and then there's crazy old Muraki in the background, slowly driving the boy mentally insane.

And the whole "He's dead" thing. Yes he's dead, but when you're dead, do you usually get a body in anime. Most of the time you're just a spirit, a little ball, and even if you're not, you're usually not visible by all people or completely solid like a real person. Yet shinigami are. So they might be dead but it leaves the question of are they the undead, like zombies in a way since they've got a body and all and are able to cross into the plane of the living. See, I'm crossing that barrier. They're dead but there's no reason why they can't be a little like a living person. Why do they eat, why do they get hungry? You can try to say "They don't really need to eat, they just do it cause it's like a habit" But they do, that's why they offer it. You think Tatsumi would honestly be paying for something that was actually needed?

To make fun of the way I described him going into inu mode, is just retarded. I was painting an animated image for those that read, you know to make it feel more like the anime. So I see no problem with the fact of "He doesn't really grow ears and a tail!" It's to try to make an image in your mind, like all good stories should, of the scene that you're reading, I just happen to do so in an animated format.

In short, these morons never took into account that stuff that happens without needing to be fully explained, like the changing of his organs. This isn't some fucking science fic. that type of stuff is left to the readers imagination for a reason. That is a good element in good writing, it makes your readers think, but then again, we don't want you to make your pretty little heads burst. The fact still remains you're ignorant, you take the views of another and without proper reason flame it and pick at low blows like typing errors. I'm rather sure no one was forcing you to read this, nor forced you to review in either which way, good or bad, about it. and I've stated a million times over what the warnings were, what the story would contain and what you should be prepared for. Also, as stated earlier "DON'T LIKE! DO NOT FUCKING READ!"

Yet THIS WILL NOT STOP ME! Make fun of me if you wish, flame the story, I know there's open-minded people out there that aren't assholes like the likes of you, to flame another. I've personally never flamed a single story since I began reading stories when I was about 12, not even when I was first introduced to all the stuff I thought then to be barbaric or wrong such as when I was new to yaoi, NCS, smutt and other such things. If I did not like it, I hit the little X at the top of the window and never spoke of it again. You know where the little X is right?

Once again, Thanks to all those that support me and agree with me that all these closed, simple minded flamers have no right to be talking about anyone, not even the least experienced author to be making the most typos or most unbelievable plot lines instead of offering constructive criticism, in that fact that all they ever due is promote their close mindedness through the world the likes that help to cause more segregation in this world through not being able to turn away from harmless thing that they don't like, rather than endure them and bitch till they're happy.

Well thanks again to people like bleedingchaos, Oli, Ashura Taneth, animage, egnima, amyrose300, Hai-chan, Joan Mistress of Magic, morag, Hatori Soma, kassandra, Nancy, miyu, Peppita-chan, Isarandel, thelonechicken13, Holly, Liliath, NaTsUKo-ChAn, Last Ninja #1, yaoi-yuri-animelover, Yaoi-hunter, Adakie, moon power, Latatsuni, Jadcraseangel, Sindy, Kikaru-Renji, Fallen Angel of water, Kioko and Kinoko, Tiassale, Phoenix-the female dragon, Karin1004, Nicai, Liz Chan, Kiko812, Chobits Chi, Sheila Ibrahim, Anna Sartin, Karen, Sarah Creech, Una, Heather, Alec, Nina, Ouji, Amythst eyed Koneko, ChibiMars, suzu-chan, xangelogdeath, kyou, DuosAngel, shigureUotani, Linsey, kirika, Rachel, Tari K, ster00, TSU/SOKA, Mel, Itsuko, xangelofdeathsarah, kat8cha, Mia, Jarath, na3na, Kat, sindyl3, Belzemi, karen, BD CG DA and FG, Crystal Witch, blackdragon, Kagi, Kloudy Reignfall, Imootosan and anyone else I forgot to mention!


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